sprinkling positivity

experiencing my ego taking over

on March 5, 2015

So as we know, the world is at war because of the ego – as humans beings we are not connecting or relating to each other because of the ego. The reason for failed relationships, arguements, violence etc is all because of the ego.

This morning I experienced becoming aware of my ego in action.

I will explain the situation, and you can see how two people can change their relationship based on the ego’s actions.

So we have a new chef at the retreat where I am volunteering, we have a great laugh and get alone well.

I had explained a few days earlier that I have fruit with my breakfast every morning as I love sweet things to accompany my breakfast. So this morning I went to grab a banana to go with my porridge and the chef said ‘can you not take that, please leave it’. So i left it and left the kitchen feeling annoyed, slightly angry and upset. My mind immediately got to work thinking

‘ you must of done something to upset him, maybe he just doesn’t like you, you’ve annoyed him.’

These assumptions became my truths, i believed them to be what he was thinking.

So after breakfast i returned to the kitchen and washed up in silence, feeling angry. thinking fine, il have to go out and buy my own fruit if i cant eat them here. being stubborn and wanting to be in the right.

Then I took a step back and thought, i don’t like feeling angry, annoyed or upset like this. this isnt good for me, how can I view the situation for what it really might be.

Instead of taking it personally i thought from the chefs point of view

Perhaps he needed those last few bananas for a dish he’d planned, perhaps he just wanted to give the paying guests enough variety of fruit so they wouldn’t complain. Perhaps it had nothing to do with not liking me, or me at all.

My ego had taking it personally and made it about me.

So i decided to be open adn said to the chef – i took the banana situation personally and it annoyed me, i assumed you said i couldn’t have the banana because i had annoyed you or I wasn’t as important as the other guests. This is not an issue I had with him though, this is an issue i had with myself. My ego had taken the situation personally then made an assumption to be the truth. When I was able to be open and honest with the chef he said ‘ I actually was scared of not having enough fruit for people and I would look bad as the chef then, I was worried it had upset you.’

So by being open and honest we both realized that we were very similar human beings, both worrying about different things. I then saw my assumption was wrong and I had this horrible feelings lifted away from my body, because my thoughts weren’t real, they were my ego’s assumptions.

But here you can see how easily we can create conflict in life, it is not easy to be open and honest with someone and say they have upset you because you’ve taken a situation personally. If you are open, you are then open to rejection. However most of the time people see you are actually just human and have the same fears, feelings, emotions as them. If I hadnt of been honest about how I was feeling with the chef, I would’ve carried these horrible feelings with me all day and I would’ve resented working with him, carrying a past situation into the present and into the future – holding on to one small thing that wasn’t even the truth in the first place.

Isn’t it madness how we all do this? How our unconscious ego takes over, takes things personally and makes up assumptions for which we then believe to be the truth?

Have you ever said hello to someone and they havent bother conversing back with you, then you’ve immediately assumed, they dont like me, i wont bother talking to them again, they’re not very nice etc – when in fact they could actually be going through a terrible time and having a bad day and simply want to be on their own, it could be nothing to do with you, maybe they just didn’t feel like being social on that specific day.

Hence why it’s so important that we become aware of when our ego takes over, because at some point it will. Awareness weakens the ego – then we can connect and relate to each other, have empathy and understanding for what someone else might be going through that doesn’t involve you or I.

We are not perfect human beings, its perfectly ok and natural for our ego to kick in but we can change that if we want a happier, peaceful life. We can take back control of the ego – observe it. Dont believe your thoughts to be the truth for we do not think. a thought pops into our head that we have no control over – we have control as to wether we believe it as the truth or as a lie.

You decide. you have the power. you are in control.


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