wherethesunisalwayshining

sprinkling positivity

Everything that irritates us in others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves

Everything that irritates us in others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

What do you think this means?

Do you ever think about why you get annoyed with people? Why that habit they have irritates you or the way they act or behave.

I read this quote a while ago and always tried figuring out where I could be behaving in the same way as the behaviour of others annoyed me.

I had a huge revelation whilst writing in my journal the other day. I was thinking about how I thought a guy I met had been special, yet I was open to meeting more special people in the future. However I didn’t like the thought of this one special guy wanting to go on and meet other special girls – I liked the thought of me being the only special girl, otherwise My mind said I wasn’t special at all.

You can imagine the confusion in my mind because to me I could meet several special people, all different and special to me. Yet if the tables where turned and the special guy met new special girls, my mind would say that I wasn’t special to him at all. It didn’t count the same for him that he could meet several special girls all different and special in each way to him. It woke me up to the fact that sometimes I think a situation is different before I even consider how I would act if I was in the other persons shoes?

Have you ever been the victim to someone treating you badly in a relationship or friendship? Perhaps your friend bailed on you to hang out with her new boyfriend, perhaps your boyfriend flirted with his ex.. Things that are bound to annoy you, things that make you question your relationship/friendship. Yet you may never question your love for your friend/partner of you where to bail on them or flirt with your ex. You don’t see it as anything wrong because you know you love your friend/ partner.. Yet they see your behaviour and feel unloved.

Usually we find it hard to recognize our own faults, me very much included. Sometimes others help us become aware of them , yet other time a good factor is to just look at what annoys us.. We will usually find we’re behaving exactly the same way to the same person or another.

Sometimes we need to think outside our bubble and take a step to look at our actions, how would we feel in the other persons shoes. Usually we can resolve whatever annoys us because we find it within ourselves too.

Have a think, write down people/things/behaviours/actions that annoy you and see if you can recognize yourself jn any of them. Be true, honest and open, that’s how you will break through the problem.

Good luck and remember writing a journal is great for figuring stuff out ๐Ÿ™‚

Advertisements
Leave a comment »

Creating your dream career

Think about what you want to achieve from life.. Sound easier than it is?

Are you unable to figure out what you want to do for work? Too much or too little choice?

Grab a journal & Write down a list of your hobbies, things you like doing & your interests.

For example my list says a load of random things like –

– meeting new people/hosting

– yoga

-cooking wholesome foods & experimenting

– reading

– dancing

– learning about life, spirituality, psychology

– drawing

– Planning events & organising

– Helping people feel better

There’s a pretty diverse list from physical activities to studies, hobbies, general life qualities etc.

So go ahead, write down the random stuff that makes you happy and brings you joy.

The Next step is to write a list of things you can study/experience to get you closer to developing skills and knowledge on these hobbies so they can become careers for you.

For example mine where –

– Making effort to meet strangers

– Yoga teacher training

– Experimenting cooking at home

– Study mental health

– Read on spirituality

– Training for life coaching

– Organise events

This gives you plenty of options on several hobbies you have. Not narrowing it down too much but enough so that you have somewhere to begin. Perhaps you can combine several together to create one dream career or perhaps you will decide to have several small part time jobs.

The main thing is that whatever you do for work, makes you happy.

We don’t live to work hard to earn money to spend our lives working miserably.

Up until a year ago I studied and wanted a career in fashion, then had a complete change of heart and felt lost. Now I see that it was all for a reason, it didn’t seem it at the time but it was so I can do something that is a part of me.

Do something that brings you joy, don’t worry if it doesn’t all come together right away. Trust and things will fall into place ๐Ÿ™‚

Leave a comment »

Where the Ego is concerned, we’re all actors playing different Roles in life.

Have you ever witnessed somebody your close to, meet new people and they act completely different? That’s not them, that’s their ego.

Have you ever been asked by a shop assistant how are you and replied im fine thanks, even though you’re feeling sad. That’s not you, that’s your ego.

When you go to the hair dresser do you feel the need to make conversation, even though you’d prefer to be sitting in silence? That again is your ego.

Our ego like to play different roles with different people. When we’re buying something for example, we play the role of a customer – making general chit chat because that’s what customers do. We’re acting like a customer.

When we meet different people we don’t act ourselves, the ego kicks in. For example you would act a different role if you were to meet the queen, yet how would you act if you were to meet her cleaners?

We would probably feel inferior looking up to the queen, acting like we’re from the same class, trying to be someone we’re not.

With the cleaners we would perhaps talk down to them and feel superior, that we are better, again being someone we’re not.

When we are in a situation when we feel superior or inferior, that’s when we can become aware that’s not our true self – its our ego. When we’re playing roles of the ego, that’s when we are not being real, we don’t connect as humans and realise that we are all the same.

So much of the time we let what we do for work take over who we are. We let our ego take over and believe that what we do for work, what we look like on the outside, what we own, what social class we are in – that’s who we are. But its not, that’s not what defines us. We are so much more than everything thats outside of us.

For example if you become a parent, yes it takes over your life but you are still you, a person, a human being with a life. If you are sick, you are not that sickness you are simply dealing with a sickness. If you are a content living in a council estate, it doesn’t make you any less successful as somebody with a mansion that may be deeply unhappy.

We play the different roles to act to peoples different expectations. We act differently with our friends to when we’re with our parents, why is that? Are we afraid our parents wont accept us as we truly are, or are we putting on a role of behaviour when we’re with our friends that our parents wouldn’t recognize?

Perhaps think about how you act differently with different people. Observe how you are, are you the same person with your family, friends, co-workers, public? If not, question why? Why are you afraid to be who you truly are.

I felt sad on public transport a while back and although I wanted to cry and could feel the emotion building up, i didn’t let it out because I was worried what other people would think of me. I was worried they’d stare at the girl crying. I observed that experience and now I question why, it was obviously my ego. You’re not meant to show your emotion unless you’re happy, that’s what my belief was and that’s for many others too. That’s why so many people plaster a smile on their face and say ‘im fine’, yet they question the meaning of their life and cry at home most nights.

Why are we all lying to each other? Why can’t we be open and honest when things are bothering us? Because our ego’s get in the way. Our ego’s dont want us to be vulnerable, if we’re open then we may easily get rejected therefore its easier to stay guarder and cold, sticking to the smiley yes im fine. This is why we’re not connecting with each other as beings and instead using assumptions and judgments to rule our life – letting the ego live our lives.

I hope this post helps people identify when the ego starts to kick in. Don’t be ashamed or beat yourself up about it, it’s perfectly natural. The ego is very strong, only when you become aware of it and its actions, thats when it becomes weaker.

Challenge it and see for yourselves ๐Ÿ™‚

Remember, the sun is always shining ๐Ÿ™‚

Leave a comment »

Releasing our true emotions as adults as we would as children.

As adults we like to complicate things. In fact we grow up with the beliefs that being an adult is hard work and stressful.

As children we are pure and innocent because we haven’t experienced much in life.ย The adults we’re surrounded by at home, school, clubs, events – that’s where we pick up most of our limiting beliefs (not on purpose but only because that’s what beliefs where passed on to them, hence how would they know any different.)

As children we don’t care about what other people think of us, what society expects from us, we dont fret about the past or worry about the future. We’re simply living day by day and being totally present.

When children are sad, they cry. They let their emotions out, then they feel better and get over it. As adults when we’re sad we believe we have to keep it together, we can’t just cry on a bus in public if we feel sad, what would people think?

In reality though, our natural instinct is to cry when we’re sad or over whelmed, so why would we go against that? It makes no sense, letting unresolved emotions build up inside us that in the end results in sickness.

As adults we’re portrayed to behave, act and be a certain way that goes against our natural selves.

I know adults have many more responsibilities but by believing we have to work hard, keep it all together for the public and put a brave face on, we’re essentially lying to everyone and to ourselves.

Next time you’re feeling sad in public and overwhelmed, feel that emotion and let it out, cry. Who cares who’s watching.

Next time you have a funny memory, laugh your head off. Why would you keep a laugh in just to avoid some funny looks?

The more we carry on judging others in our society, the more we will keep our feelings inside and block our emotions out. Which in the end creates illness and we become cold human beings who can’t relate to each other.

Sounds complicated but it’s actually simple. Just be true to yourself, let your inner child out and do what’s natural.

Leave a comment »

The minds belief system

So many of us have certain beliefs – most that we inherit from our parents, family,friends or society in general.

We don’t question these beliefs because we never realized that we inherited them in the first place.

To most of us our beliefs are just normal/habitual, we’ve never questioned as to why we believe them, or even if we do.

For example –

I grew up with the belief that people go to school, college and then get a job in that specific field and they’re sorted for life.

Imagine the panic when I didn’t know what I wanted to do after dropping out of uni and had a complete change of interest.

I felt anxious that my life was out of control, I was a failure, I was a disappointment, I wasn’t good enough. – All of these negative thoughts became my beliefs about who I was, which I carried into many areas of my life.

I never even realized I’d grown up with this belief, nobody had said such a thing to me directly, I simply picked it up from what is expected by society these days, Its what my parents did and it seemed to be the norm thing to do.

Then it struck me – DO I EVEN BELIEVE THAT I MUST GO TO SCHOOL,COLLEGE,GET A JOB AND THAT’S IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? IS THAT WHAT WILL MAKE ME HAPPY?

The great feeling of realizing that no, i don’t believe that’s the only option in life.

I have never been decisive and I like variety, therefore I don’t ever see myself sticking to one specific job title for my life. I see myself doing lots of different things – which isn’t as safe as having a plan of what I want to do but I have to accept that’s me and life changes whether you have plans or not.

Being able to observe your mind (with time) reveals your beliefs and you can also observe these and question them.

Yesterday a man came up to me who explained he was just having a few beers with some friends

I said to him – how come you’re having drinks at midday, bit early isn’t it.

I was so grateful for his reply

‘what’s the difference between drinking at midday to drinking at night, i just go to bed early and sleep so i don’t have ย hangover the next morning’.

This is a very small impact on my life but I realized I carried the belief that its more acceptable for people to drink alcohol at night time. Why? I have no idea why i believe this, its something i grew up with and never questioned. Probably because society portrays day drinkers as alcoholics or people who stay out and create havoc (some may be but this cant apply for everyone).

Anyway, now I’m rambling. I hope this post helps people with identifying their beliefs.

happy belief hunting ๐Ÿ™‚

Leave a comment »