wherethesunisalwayshining

sprinkling positivity

Tuning in with your thoughts

Thoughts.. We have so many running in and out of our minds on auto-pilot that we aren’t even aware of most of them..

We have variations of thoughts, some pop up completely random, some we think regularly (like lists of things to do), some are memories from the past and some are illusions of the future.

Most of the time we don’t even know because we aren’t even aware of our thoughts, they’re running in and out without a pause to observe or contemplation.

With awareness and observation of your thoughts you get to know yourself better and can make significant changes to improve your life..

  • Taking notice of the voice/tone you speak to yourself in.

We all have a critique up there in the mind, bringing awareness to how we speak to ourselves can be shocking for some people. Also bringing awareness to the tone.Let’s say you’re answering a question in front of a class and getting the answer wrong, the critique within might pipe up and say ‘ well done stupid, you just made yourself look like a right idiot.’ Noticing how you speak to yourself is crucial as it can be really damaging for your self-esteem and confidence.

  • Noticing if you honour yourself and listen to yourself,

Bringing awareness to your thoughts can help you tune in and listen to yourself. Let’s say you’re really tired and run down, all you want is an early night in, then work calls and asks you to work a shift and before you even know it you’ve said yes. Inside you’re screaming no and can’t think of anything worse, but you felt compelled to say yes to please others, to make others happy even if that means you suffer. That is not giving yourself the love and care you deserve.

  • Noticing how you interact with others, are you judgemental/critical?

We all fear judgement from others, that is why we do what others expect from us. We care about what others think of us, whether they know us or not. Bring awareness to your thoughts and you will notice the judgements and labels you put on people just from their appearance or actions. You may decide you don’t like your mum’s new boyfriend because the first time you meet him he is very quiet and appears rude by not making an effort. This would be your judgement, probably without considering how he would be feeling, perhaps scared,nervous or overwhelmed. Usually through judging others we make assumptions which aren’t accurate and lose the chance of connection and new relationships.

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Freedom of thought, freedom from thought

You are not your thoughts. How many times have we heard this? But do we really understand it, most importantly do we understand the message it gives us.

That is that we have freedom from thought, if we are not our minds then we are free from it’s negative thinking.

My intention for this blog has always been to bring awareness to people, in hope that you become aware of your thoughts and how they create your reality.

We don’t choose what thoughts pop into our minds most of the time, but we do have a choice on how to perceive those thoughts. That choice only comes once you know and you are aware that you can differentiate yourself from the minds thinking.

For example –

Let’s say Lucy who struggles with self-esteem, wants to try for the dance team but doesn’t feel she can because her mind is in a negative spiral, it says things like ‘I’ll let the team-down, I’m not good enough, what if the others just laugh at me..I am a failure.’

Without awareness, Lucy accepts this as the truth. She thinks she is her mind, therefore her thoughts are facts.

If Lucy was to bring her awareness to this negative thinking by pausing the auto-pilot mode that she lives in, she would be able to challenge that thought and realize, its just a negative thought, it’s not the truth.

This is not true. We are not our thoughts, we do not choose them and they’re not the truth. Something negative happens in the past, we take it personally and hold on to that hurt instead of letting it go, then our minds remember and project it into the future and create our new thoughts based on the past experiences, creating more negativity in our lives.

Try body scanning, or a stillness meditation, observe what thoughts come up or what feelings and sensations that you experience in your body.. then recognize that you are the observer. You are not the thought, you are the one watching it.

‘What a liberation to realize that “the voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.’  – Eckhart.Tolle

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Take a little time out for yourself daily

I have been practising self-observation, personal growth and development over 6 months now and so I have come to recognize when I am out of touch with myself. Disconnected.

The funny thing is, I am beginning to observe these times also, proving very interesting.

The past two weeks I was in a new environment, attempting to settle in and get used to my surroundings and keeping busy, dismissing my usual personal practises.

The interesting thing was, the less I practised yoga, reading and writing to myself in notes or my journal – the more I was seeking outside, through facebook, looking up pointless things on the internet to pass time.

I actually had a very odd feeling within myself, like a gap. A feeling of disconnected, I wasnt giving the mind and body the time and attention it needed to observe and sort out my thoughts and feelings.

Essentially neglecting myself, seeking fulfillment from outside, procrastinating on facebook and not achieving anything with my time. It’s funny how easily we can fall into a habit of doing so and without even the awareness.

I feel a much happier, less anxious person when I am being productive with my time, making time for myself and limiting my use of internet, social media and phone contact. It takes effort, motivation, self-discipline and awareness to cut out the latter or limit technology usage, set aside time for ourselves, to be on our own and listen to ourselves.

Listening to ourselves is an act of kindness and love, please don’t neglect yourself. Dedicate time out of your day to look after your mental and physical wellbeing. As you would for exercise, take time out to observe how you feel, take five minutes to do a breathing exercise, write down your thoughts.

Re-connect with yourself. You will find yourself feeling happier and connecting with all aspects of life in a positive way.

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Why challenges are great practise for self-observing

Whilst travelling I come across some little challenges along the way, which is great because It means everything I practise and believe in, I have to put into reality. Or at least try my best, practise makes perfect.

Living in hostels is a great time for me to observe my thoughts, behaviour and actions. I am living with different people from all kinds of backgrounds, cultures, languages, personalities and beliefs. Most of them very different to mine!

So you can imagine it’s quite difficult when I set an affirmation for the day to look after myself, pamper myself and have a early night sleep to rest my body.. then a group of what we would label ‘laddy lads’ come into the room off the party boat, stating it’s going to be a loud, drunken night from the after-party. The complete opposite to what I want.

Yet I live in a hostel, I have to learn to share and accept these things and make it work. I cannot expect them to change their plans for mine, the same as most situations in life. We cant expect people to give up their plans to suit ourselves, that would be selfish. But we can put ourselves first and make the most of a situation.

So in my case, I am accepting these guys are going to be loud and lairy, they are drunk and swearing and in my opinion have little respect for other people but I know they are unaware of this or it’s just not how they see it. It doesn’t mean I dislike them or think they’re horrible people, they’re just different to me on the outside and act unconsciously.

Instead of being upset that what I have planned for the night cant happen, I accept it fully. I focus my energy on ‘Is there anything I can do to change this’. So my options are to change room or go to sleep and hope they’re not to noisy. I decide to sleep in my friends room if this is possible, otherwise plan B will have to do.

I look at the bigger picture, it’s only one night. Not the end of the world. I cannot change the people or plans, I can change my own plans perhaps or accept things as they are.

With this acceptance, I feel at peace. I don’t feel annoyed, angry or frustrated like I might of done before I started to practise acceptance and observing my thoughts. I know in the past I would have judged them, said they were horrible men who disrespect women and they arent nice people. Now I know we are all the same inside on a deeper level, divine souls, they are just unaware of their potential and their ego’s take over so they behave unconsciously.

My challenge is also to be myself in this scenario. When one says ‘ let your hair down love’. I feel like responding that I do in other ways or that I don’t enjoy drinking until I dont remember and going to a bad club and wasting my money, but It would be the ego in me that would want to say this, to feel superior to them. I am no better or worse than them for not enjoying what they enjoy, I am just different. A little voice in my mind began to say, you’re so boring, thats what they must be thinking. But I’m not, I just dont enjoy what they do and that’s ok, I am not them. I am glad I have the courage to do as I please and that they do as they please.

I hope one day we can all respect that we have different interests and hobbies, it doesn’t make me boring and it doesn’t make them horrible.

Observe the little challenges that face you, observe your thoughts, words and actions. Think about your judgements, to yourself and to others. 🙂 Have the courage and strength to be yourself.

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The ripple effect, how our actions affect other people.

We are all the same, underneath the outer layers we all have feelings, emotions. The things that block us from viewing it is that were driven by fear.

People who judge and criticise behave unconsciously, they’re unaware of the damage. This is why becoming conscious and aware of our thoughts, words and actions is so important. Everything we do has a ripple affect on other people.

Have you ever said something horrible to someone? I’m guessing so. Did you ever notice how it made you feel? I’m guessing not good. When we say something horrible to someone it’s not us, it’s our ego taking over and usually coming from a place of fear, anger or sadness.

For example in high school I remember a girl who loved drama, confrontation and starting arguements. She enjoyed picking on me and I never understood why. One day I was so fed up and in the end I called her fat. She didn’t actually respond to me and so I felt like I’d won. My ego felt superior, I’d had the last word. Yet inside I knew that’s not how I wanted to behave, I didn’t enjoy calling people names – nobody does. That name calling came from a place of anger. Yet I will never know how it affected that person, I will never know wether that name calling still rings in her memory. The same as she will never know how I remember her shouting and name calling rings in my mind. We both let our egos take over and rip chunks into each other with name calling and arguing.

This is all too common. If I would’ve listened to my soul, and been mindful I would have dealt with the situation very differently. I would see that the girl had much pain, something troubling her in life that she seemed drama and attention. She obviously felt she needed reaction, good or bad. If I would’ve seen this at the time I would have responded differently instead of reacting.

Hence why we build up guards around ourselves, become closed off to other humans, afraid to show who we truly are.

If we are open, we are vulnerable and risk being hurt by others who are unconscious. Yet if we are aware that their hurtful words or actions are exactly that – unconscious. Then we have a chance of putting a stop to reaction and ego taking over.

Hurtful actions and comments stay in our memories for years, hence why it’s imperative that we bring awareness to ourselves. Everything we do and say to people has an effect on them, we never know to some extent. We must stop acting unconsciously towards others, causing harm because of we let our ego take over just in a fleeting moment you can’t undo those horrible words or horrible actions. We can only apologise.

The other side to being aware and conscious of your thoughts and actions is that when you are personally attacked by someone – you can choose to diminish their comment or action. You can become aware that they are suffering and that is the only reason why they’re behaving this way toward you. No happy person who is conscious goes around verbally abusing people.

We are all divine souls, only our ego separates us.

For example a woman once had a go at me, I was in the wrong slightly but she made it a big drama and was so angry, the tone of voice etc was not very nice. I used my awareness and could see she was troubled with something so I didn’t react or argue back. I apologised and instead talked with her as a friend would.

In a different situation someone would feel personally attacked and get angry, the ego doesn’t like to be blamed and so you would react and shout back. This would only lead to hurtful comments and cause harm to each other.. No resolving.

Then hurtful comments stay with people and they carry them for the rest of their lives.

Next time think when you’re going to criticise someone, comment on their looks or the way they are. It’s all too easy to judge and criticise when we don’t know what someone’s going through.

The only reason we can know what someone’s going through is if they’re open and honest with us – the only way we can achieve that is through less judgment and criticism in the world so people don’t let fear keep them closed up and guarded.

We are not robots, we are alive and we have feelings. We are all divine souls deep down, sometime we unconsciously let the ego take over us and that’s ok, don’t beat yourself up, become aware of it and observe how it makes you feel. The other day I made fun of someone being different and called her weird behind her back, who am I to do that? It doesn’t make me a better person, it made me feel horrible, I don’t know what she’s going through in life, my quick judgement will only prevent me from getting to know her and she is probably a lovely person. Judgment and criticism only separates us, prevents us from bonding and sharing.

Next time you find yourself judging someone or criticising them, have a think. Become aware. Be conscious to your words and actions to yourself and others. Be open and honest and expect the same in return. Try to respond instead of react to other people’s egos.

Be the change you want to see in the world 🙂

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We are all beautiful unique beings. We can’t let fear get in the way of being proud of who we are

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Awareness of pretending to be someone you are not.

This week I’ve struggled to be my true self. I have been in an unfamiliar environment and fell into a trap of acting to others expectations.

This has led to several things

– low moods
– sore throat
– general unease
– agreeing with things I don’t agree with
– acting unconsciously and contributing in gossip and drama.

The great thing is because I practise mind observation, I am fully aware of how I have acted and how it affects me, physically and mentally.

Mind observation is key to bringing awareness, when things don’t feel right we can question our thoughts and behaviours and get to the root of the problem.

So I’ve been staying with a family this week and I’ve wanted to fit in. The family are different to me or so my ego thinks. My ego feels threatened as they don’t understand me, yet I haven’t really given them a proper chance. I have been afraid to voice my opinions because I fear judgment or criticism. Yes, these people may think differently from me and mock my ways, yet if I don’t voice my opinions how will I ever know? I will simply list them and misunderstanding me without really giving them a chance.

Don’t get me wrong, they’re lovely and welcoming. I am wary of how they easily judge and have many opinions. This has resulted in me hiding behind fear and simply acting, being someone I’m not, acting how others would expect me to act. Letting the ego take over.

When we are not ourselves, when we agree with things that we actually disagree with – we’re going against ourselves. Hence why many people feel lost and are trying to find who they really are. We are most of the time unaware that were acting, we do it once and we do it again, acting to other people’s expectations to avoid friction or confrontation. You can imagine if you are constantly acting and pretending to be someone you are not, simply to get along with everyone and be liked, then you can quickly become unbalanced and lose who you are. You’re suddenly agreeing with everyone else, doing what others want you to do, saying what will please others. It gets pretty hard to find yourself and your inner voice amidst all of that?!

So the solution – be true, be you.

It sounds simple and it is. I was afraid to tell the people that I didn’t want to join them on a day out, I did it and guess what – they didn’t hate me. Perhaps they took it personally but that would be their problem. I explained I wanted to do some walking. I had originally without awareness agreed to go but I really didn’t want to, I was upsetting myself in order to not upset them, where’s the sense in that?

We are in control of making ourselves happy, the same as others are in control of making themselves happy.

It would be madness to create anxiety and misery to ourselves just to make someone else happy. Usually they get over it anyway and are responsible for creating their own happiness.

We can’t depend on others to create our happiness. It starts from within.

I have struggled this week and I have actually found it difficult to focus on writing this post – therefore another sign I need to recharge my energy and focus on myself.

Whenever you become aware of feeling out of balance and drained from acting, not being yourself try these few things –

Meditation, balancing postures, yoga, walking, writing to yourself.

The start of the week I found myself drawn to social media, television – all a sign of trying to zone out from reality but in a unhealthy way.

Practise mind observation, be brave and be yourself.

Lots of love

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Accepting the now – that is all you have

The moment right now is all we have.

The past is un changeable, the future is unpredictable and the now is all we have.

We all struggle with accepting things that are happening sometimes in the now.

The now always consists of things that are happening.

Eckhart tolle said – many things that happen, they’re all fleeting moments. Things, bodies and egos, events, thoughts, situations, emotions, desires, fears, dramas and ambitions. They come, pretend to be all important and before you know it they’re gone. Dissolved into the nothing of which they came.

How many times have you worried, stressed yourself out or suffered because of resistance to something that was happening in the now? I have plenty of times. ‘Why is this happening to me’, ‘It isn’t fair’, ‘I hate life’. This is all resistance to accepting something. We make life difficult when we resist what’s happening in the now.

Let’s say we are about to lose our house. This is a stressful, worrying and tense time. If we take a step back and look the situation rationally – it’s happening. We can spend time burying our heads in the sand, refusing to look forward and complaining that this is happening – creating suffering and essentially being stuck in the situation.

Or we can be accepting. This is happening right now – it isn’t going to be forever, it’s a fleeting moment. In the future we will look back and learn from this event. Accept it’s happening and use the energy to be productive and think forward instead of wasting energy on self pity , drama, complaining. (All of which is resistance).

We spend so much of our lives resisting what’s happening, wasting energy on things we cannot change. Surrendering and accepting the now is all we can do. If there’s something ‘bad’ happening right now in life, know that it won’t be forever. Think of previous events that seemed so bad, with time they got better. The now is forever changing, things that happen are forever changing. We can go with the flow of whatever happens and not let it affect us negatively or we create suffering by wishing it wasn’t happening.

The sun is always shining.

Whether it’s behind the clouds some days, the sun will always come out shining soon enough.

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Surrender to the now

This morning I was reading about surrender. As humans we relate surrender to giving up, although that’s our ego that feels like it’s giving up. Our egos don’t like surrendering because it makes the ego feel small, weak. This is why we end up arguing, reacting and defending our’self’ (ego). The ego wants to be right and doesn’t want to give up.

What happens when we surrender?

It feels uncomfortable perhaps to start with. Then with no reaction and simply a feeling of release, we are able to realise that yes the ego has had a knock down, leaving more room for our true self to come through.

Next time you get blamed for something, try to resist your natural instinct of reacting, defending or arguing to be right. The ego doesn’t care about truth, it just wants to protect itself. Instead do nothing, it doesn’t make you any less of a person if you know the truth inside. In fact it makes your ego smaller and your soul shows up more and more.

Reaction only fuels more reaction and drama. The opposite of peace. If we want peace in our lives then we have to practise it instead of letting the ego react to every situation. We surrender.

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Everything that irritates us in others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves

Everything that irritates us in others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

What do you think this means?

Do you ever think about why you get annoyed with people? Why that habit they have irritates you or the way they act or behave.

I read this quote a while ago and always tried figuring out where I could be behaving in the same way as the behaviour of others annoyed me.

I had a huge revelation whilst writing in my journal the other day. I was thinking about how I thought a guy I met had been special, yet I was open to meeting more special people in the future. However I didn’t like the thought of this one special guy wanting to go on and meet other special girls – I liked the thought of me being the only special girl, otherwise My mind said I wasn’t special at all.

You can imagine the confusion in my mind because to me I could meet several special people, all different and special to me. Yet if the tables where turned and the special guy met new special girls, my mind would say that I wasn’t special to him at all. It didn’t count the same for him that he could meet several special girls all different and special in each way to him. It woke me up to the fact that sometimes I think a situation is different before I even consider how I would act if I was in the other persons shoes?

Have you ever been the victim to someone treating you badly in a relationship or friendship? Perhaps your friend bailed on you to hang out with her new boyfriend, perhaps your boyfriend flirted with his ex.. Things that are bound to annoy you, things that make you question your relationship/friendship. Yet you may never question your love for your friend/partner of you where to bail on them or flirt with your ex. You don’t see it as anything wrong because you know you love your friend/ partner.. Yet they see your behaviour and feel unloved.

Usually we find it hard to recognize our own faults, me very much included. Sometimes others help us become aware of them , yet other time a good factor is to just look at what annoys us.. We will usually find we’re behaving exactly the same way to the same person or another.

Sometimes we need to think outside our bubble and take a step to look at our actions, how would we feel in the other persons shoes. Usually we can resolve whatever annoys us because we find it within ourselves too.

Have a think, write down people/things/behaviours/actions that annoy you and see if you can recognize yourself jn any of them. Be true, honest and open, that’s how you will break through the problem.

Good luck and remember writing a journal is great for figuring stuff out 🙂

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