wherethesunisalwayshining

sprinkling positivity

What are you Doing?

What are you Doing?

This is one question that triggers a whirlwind of thoughts, feelings and emotions for me.

For years I have been growing up with people taking general interest in my life and asking the innocent question – ‘So, What are you doing next?’, ‘What are you doing at the moment?’, ‘What are you doing next week?’

I have heard these four words far more than I’d like to.

The truth is the question creates bouts of anxiety within me. People ask out of interest, good nature, general polite chit chat. Not quite realizing perhaps what they’re asking.

When I hear these 4 words I hear expectation and pressure.. and what I feel when I hear these words are anxiety, guilt, uncertainty and failure. Because the answers usually is I don’t know.

I guess my perception has become warped with my own insecurities on the matter but I am sure that I am not alone as many of us are in the same boat.

When someone asks ‘What are you doing’ – I feel they expect me to know, and I don’t know so there’s uncertainty and I feel like a failure for not knowing. I also feel pressure that I should have a plan, and then I feel guilty again for not having one.

The thing is I don’t have a plan. I have learnt through life experience and travelling that plans don’t always go to plan. Life does it’s thing and we can choose to accept where we are or suffer with non-acceptance and wishing to be somewhere else.

I actually find this topic quite hard even to write about, it creates tension within me. When I was travelling I was able to answer this question much more freely and laid-back, because everyone seems to be on the same wavelength, not knowing where we’re going but trusting it’s ok and allowing things to unfold exactly as and when they’re meant to.

The thing is there’s a lot of freedom in ‘I don’t know’.

I say this from experience – I left my uni course to a year of ‘What are you doing; I don’t know’ scenarios and decided enough was enough and went travelling and working abroad – something I’d never done if I’d stuck to my safe certain uni degree that didn’t make me happy.

Possibilities arise if we are open to them. Changing perspective is fundamental, it’s the only thing we have control over, we have a choice.

Will your ‘I don’t know’ be one of despair, stress and anxiety – (which doesn’t make you know any more ūüėČ

Or can you allow it to be exactly what it is.. at this very moment in time you don’t know. Which gives you the opportunity to explore, discover new things, places. Volunteer, try something different.

There is nothing wrong with not knowing where your life is heading.. in fact nobody knows. There is no certainty for how life will unfold. Isn’t that the magic of it all?

Not knowing what magic is around the corner, what opportunity can arise if you open yourself to the infinite possibilities that the world has to offer?

Go volunteer in Africa, Go raise money for charity, Go explore a new way of living. If you don’t have a next step plan in life – Take it as a sign from the Universe that you’re meant to explore now. You are free.

I know the next time someone asks me ‘What are you doing’ I am hoping I will of changed my perception a little and have the courage to answer from my heart..

‘I don’t know but I know it’s on the way, I am just going with the flow of life and letting it unfold as it is, when I’m supposed to know then I will know. For now exploring, discovering and learning is what I’m doing and I know every piece of the puzzle will finally fit together when the time’s right.’

Trust in yourself. Trust in Life. Recognize your freedom in unlimited possibilities, they are waiting out there for you.

 

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What do you really want?

What do I want?

How often do we truly ask ourselves that question, or how honestly do we really answer it?

It may appear to be a simple question but actually a lot of us know what we don’t want, or we will answer the basics of health, happiness, family and friends etc.

When it comes down to it we all want the same fundamental things.

But going beyond the mind, beyond the limitations and boundaries..

If I change the question to.. If anything and everything was possible, what would you want?

So often we don’t even allow ourselves to ask what we really want, we are a society that fear their dreams, because we are afraid to even acknowledge them.

In reality, beyond the minds limitations and boundaries that are only illusions, everything and anything is possible.

You see, unless we think or even acknowledge something in our minds then it’s not possible to manifest it. We have to ask ourselves these fundamental questions so that actually yes we can work towards our dreams, we can put energy into making the thoughts a reality.

So be courageous, take time to yourself. Ask yourself ‘What do I really want?’

If you find that to be too difficult – ‘If everything and anything was possible, what would I want?’.. you can ask yourself out loud, in your mind, through meditation, write it on paper. You are free to do anything.

Step outside of the walls your mind has built up, discover the secret garden of infinite possibilities within you.

Once you acknowledge what you want, work towards making it happen. Do you think Obama was a 18 year old guy thinking he was going to become the president? I’m guessing not but he obviously was working towards big things¬†and had the thought in his mind at some point. Patience and¬†small steps. Believe in yourself, we are all made of the same stuff, no one is superior or inferior to another.

If you answer your question, be careful to observe your mind. It may say you’re not good enough in some way,’ it’s not possible, don’t be silly.’ Just be aware of these thoughts and know they’re just thoughts, illusions, not reality unless you let them be.

Thoughts are very important, they play a huge role in our lives and most people have no idea what an impact they have. Thoughts really do create your reality so it’s important that you listen to them, observe. Let go of any negative thoughts that hold you back, just don’t attach.

There’s a saying ‘Where the mind goes, energy flows’ – be careful what you put your energy into. Positive outcomes or negative? You really are powerful beyond measure, you have the choice to choose.

So.. What do you really want?

 

 

 

 

 

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You have the power

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Taking responsibility instead of blaming others

We have control over ourselves, we have the power.

By blaming someone, we give that power away, we give it to them. We are saying, it is your fault that I feel like this – which is essentially saying, you have control over me and my feelings.

Saying someone else creates your suffering is not taking responsibility for yourself. You are in control of your own life.

I used to really struggle with this. I would get so frustrated and upset because other people would do things that annoyed me. I blamed other people for my unhappiness. But it was my perception. I let myself get annoyed at external things beyond my control, until I learned that I control how I  view things.

Last week I began to get stressed and frustrated looking after a child who is pretty demanding and craves attention. My mind was on auto-pilot thinking, ‘ she’s so demanding, ungrateful, needy and controlling. it’s her way or no way.’ This kind of thinking just led me to feel more and more annoyed every time she’d have a new injury or be demanding my attention without any patience.

When I became aware of my thoughts I¬†realized the effect they where having on my body (stress,anxiety,muscle tension) and how I was acting colder, blunter with the child. Both things I didn’t want.

So as I stepped out of auto-pilot, I took responsibility because I know that it was only my perception at fault. The way I was viewing the situation was as if my thoughts and assumptions where the truth. Thoughts and assumptions are not truth.

Instead I decided to be curious, this child would never choose to be this unhappy with herself, she doesn’t choose to get stressed out,cry at little things, she doesn’t choose to be so needy and demanding of her mum. There must be more depth to it than I am currently viewing. I understood she has insecurities, she needs attention because she is missing something. With understanding, I began to grow compassion and empathy and realised theres a lot more depth to this little person than I know.

There’s a lot more depth to each and every person, more than we will ever know.

So I had that transformation with our relationship, by taking responsibility and deciding to change my views instead of just blaming her for my anxious state.

When we take responsibility for ourselves, we recognize our power and control. We recognize the freedom of choice.

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