wherethesunisalwayshining

sprinkling positivity

What are you Doing?

What are you Doing?

This is one question that triggers a whirlwind of thoughts, feelings and emotions for me.

For years I have been growing up with people taking general interest in my life and asking the innocent question – ‘So, What are you doing next?’, ‘What are you doing at the moment?’, ‘What are you doing next week?’

I have heard these four words far more than I’d like to.

The truth is the question creates bouts of anxiety within me. People ask out of interest, good nature, general polite chit chat. Not quite realizing perhaps what they’re asking.

When I hear these 4 words I hear expectation and pressure.. and what I feel when I hear these words are anxiety, guilt, uncertainty and failure. Because the answers usually is I don’t know.

I guess my perception has become warped with my own insecurities on the matter but I am sure that I am not alone as many of us are in the same boat.

When someone asks ‘What are you doing’ – I feel they expect me to know, and I don’t know so there’s uncertainty and I feel like a failure for not knowing. I also feel pressure that I should have a plan, and then I feel guilty again for not having one.

The thing is I don’t have a plan. I have learnt through life experience and travelling that plans don’t always go to plan. Life does it’s thing and we can choose to accept where we are or suffer with non-acceptance and wishing to be somewhere else.

I actually find this topic quite hard even to write about, it creates tension within me. When I was travelling I was able to answer this question much more freely and laid-back, because everyone seems to be on the same wavelength, not knowing where we’re going but trusting it’s ok and allowing things to unfold exactly as and when they’re meant to.

The thing is there’s a lot of freedom in ‘I don’t know’.

I say this from experience – I left my uni course to a year of ‘What are you doing; I don’t know’ scenarios and decided enough was enough and went travelling and working abroad – something I’d never done if I’d stuck to my safe certain uni degree that didn’t make me happy.

Possibilities arise if we are open to them. Changing perspective is fundamental, it’s the only thing we have control over, we have a choice.

Will your ‘I don’t know’ be one of despair, stress and anxiety – (which doesn’t make you know any more ūüėČ

Or can you allow it to be exactly what it is.. at this very moment in time you don’t know. Which gives you the opportunity to explore, discover new things, places. Volunteer, try something different.

There is nothing wrong with not knowing where your life is heading.. in fact nobody knows. There is no certainty for how life will unfold. Isn’t that the magic of it all?

Not knowing what magic is around the corner, what opportunity can arise if you open yourself to the infinite possibilities that the world has to offer?

Go volunteer in Africa, Go raise money for charity, Go explore a new way of living. If you don’t have a next step plan in life – Take it as a sign from the Universe that you’re meant to explore now. You are free.

I know the next time someone asks me ‘What are you doing’ I am hoping I will of changed my perception a little and have the courage to answer from my heart..

‘I don’t know but I know it’s on the way, I am just going with the flow of life and letting it unfold as it is, when I’m supposed to know then I will know. For now exploring, discovering and learning is what I’m doing and I know every piece of the puzzle will finally fit together when the time’s right.’

Trust in yourself. Trust in Life. Recognize your freedom in unlimited possibilities, they are waiting out there for you.

 

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What do you really want?

What do I want?

How often do we truly ask ourselves that question, or how honestly do we really answer it?

It may appear to be a simple question but actually a lot of us know what we don’t want, or we will answer the basics of health, happiness, family and friends etc.

When it comes down to it we all want the same fundamental things.

But going beyond the mind, beyond the limitations and boundaries..

If I change the question to.. If anything and everything was possible, what would you want?

So often we don’t even allow ourselves to ask what we really want, we are a society that fear their dreams, because we are afraid to even acknowledge them.

In reality, beyond the minds limitations and boundaries that are only illusions, everything and anything is possible.

You see, unless we think or even acknowledge something in our minds then it’s not possible to manifest it. We have to ask ourselves these fundamental questions so that actually yes we can work towards our dreams, we can put energy into making the thoughts a reality.

So be courageous, take time to yourself. Ask yourself ‘What do I really want?’

If you find that to be too difficult – ‘If everything and anything was possible, what would I want?’.. you can ask yourself out loud, in your mind, through meditation, write it on paper. You are free to do anything.

Step outside of the walls your mind has built up, discover the secret garden of infinite possibilities within you.

Once you acknowledge what you want, work towards making it happen. Do you think Obama was a 18 year old guy thinking he was going to become the president? I’m guessing not but he obviously was working towards big things¬†and had the thought in his mind at some point. Patience and¬†small steps. Believe in yourself, we are all made of the same stuff, no one is superior or inferior to another.

If you answer your question, be careful to observe your mind. It may say you’re not good enough in some way,’ it’s not possible, don’t be silly.’ Just be aware of these thoughts and know they’re just thoughts, illusions, not reality unless you let them be.

Thoughts are very important, they play a huge role in our lives and most people have no idea what an impact they have. Thoughts really do create your reality so it’s important that you listen to them, observe. Let go of any negative thoughts that hold you back, just don’t attach.

There’s a saying ‘Where the mind goes, energy flows’ – be careful what you put your energy into. Positive outcomes or negative? You really are powerful beyond measure, you have the choice to choose.

So.. What do you really want?

 

 

 

 

 

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Surrender to what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be :) 

  

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Living with uncertainty 

In life we face periods of uncertainty and feelings of insecurity. Especially as young adults growing up in society these days we face a high percentage of unemployment and financial problems, pressure from media telling us how we should look and behave and general judgement from society if we don’t conform. 

Is there any wonder there’s a huge rise in mental health issues? 

It all comes from uncertainty. Are we certain of our future? No. Yet we’re living in a world where we’re pressurised in knowing what we want to do for our careers, frowned upon if we don’t. 

Unfortunately we’re not all blessed in knowing what we want to do for the rest of our lives. The very thought of it sends us into melt down. Or we might know what we want to do but we live in fear of not achieving it, fearing failure. 

We waste so much energy on fear, focusing our energy on it in fact. Fear comes from resosting uncertainty. When we’re refusing to accept what were feeling that’s when fear arises.

Eckhart tolle said –

“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life. It means fear is no longer a dominant factor in what you do and no longer prevents you from taking action to initiate change. If uncertainty is unacceptable to you, it turns into fear. If it is perfectly acceptable, it turns into increased aliveness, alertness and creativity.

Think about it, when you don’t accept a situation for what it is, that’s when you become scared. If you don’t know what you’re doing with life, it’s only when you can’t accept that ; that’s when fear arises. If you can accept you don’t know what you’re doing with life then you don’t feel fear, you accept it as a moment that won’t last forever and with that you can focus your energy on creating new possibilities instead of focusing your energy being stuck in fear. 

If you are afraid of failure then you’re not accepting of the present moment. You’re focusing on the future and you are stuck because all your energy is stuck on fear, you cannot create possibilities for yourself from fear. Only acceptance. 

Going with the flow of life and accepting you are exactly where you’re supposed to be. You’re doing and feeling exacty what you’re supposed to be. Accept that. Give up your fear. Then the answers will come to you, your energy with focus on your possibilities.

Don’t create suffering for yourself. Resisting what you’re feelings won’t change it, it will only cause you suffering. So why not let go of that and just think ‘f**k it* I don’t know what I want to do and that’s just the way it is for now. Or if you feel that you’re not succeeding in whatever you want to do, just accept that job isn’t for you but another one that is better will be on its way. Things that don’t happen are just not meant to be. 

“The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise.” 

Let go of fear and accept uncertainty. 

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Live in the present

Today I was able to connect with a lovely lady from Amsterdam. She was very open and honest with me, although we were merely strangers she cried with me and I comforted her and then listened to what was behind her pain.

That’s what we can create when we are simply real with ourselves and each other. We let people in and they can help us. We let go of the horrible thoughts and negative emotions and get rid of them, we let them flow out of our bodies through words, tears and emotions.¬†

This lovely lady is on her journey after suffering from depression for years after pushing and plodding on through life doing what was expected of her instead of what she wanted, that would make her happy. After years of doing things to please others, she forgot who she was.. she was living her life as a person other people wanted her to be.

She has overcome many things yet she was sat crying with me. I asked her why.

She felt hurt, hurt that she had wasted years of her life being depressed and feeling so negative about herself and life.

I then questioned her – In 5 years time won’t you look back at this time now and think exactly the same, you’re finding yourself yet you’re still living in the past, beating yourself up about wasting years being depressed. I said, isnt that exactly what you’re doing now, wasting this present moment, beating yourself up, hurting yourself, over the past years that cant be changed?

She looked at me like a light had just gone off – it all made sense.

The present moment is all we have, with it we create our future. So this lady was wasting more time of her life beating herself up over the past that cannot be changed. Its something we all do. beat ourselves up, regretting something that happened in the past, thinking what ifs – but the truth is we’re wasting our lives living in the past. we can only change the future as we create it in the present moment.¬†

I hope this helps anyone who finds themselves always thinking in the past, wishing it could have been different. 

Sometimes we have to accept things that happened, leave them in the past and let go.

Then we can concentrate on living and doing things in the present moment to create the future we want.

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