wherethesunisalwayshining

sprinkling positivity

Louise.L.Hay

‘We are Light. We are Spirit. We are wonderful, capable beings, all of us. And it is time for us to acknowledge that we create our own reality. We create our reality with our minds. If we want to change our reality, then it’s time for us to change our minds. We do this by choosing to think and speak in new and positive ways. I learned a long time ago that if I would change my thinking, I could change my life. Changing our thinking is really dropping our limitations. As we drop our limitations, we begin to be aware of the Infinity of life all around us. We begin to understand that we are already perfect, whole, and complete. Each day gets easier.’

Words by Louise.L.Hay (check her out, she’s amazeballs)

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What you focus on grows

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The ripple effect, how our actions affect other people.

We are all the same, underneath the outer layers we all have feelings, emotions. The things that block us from viewing it is that were driven by fear.

People who judge and criticise behave unconsciously, they’re unaware of the damage. This is why becoming conscious and aware of our thoughts, words and actions is so important. Everything we do has a ripple affect on other people.

Have you ever said something horrible to someone? I’m guessing so. Did you ever notice how it made you feel? I’m guessing not good. When we say something horrible to someone it’s not us, it’s our ego taking over and usually coming from a place of fear, anger or sadness.

For example in high school I remember a girl who loved drama, confrontation and starting arguements. She enjoyed picking on me and I never understood why. One day I was so fed up and in the end I called her fat. She didn’t actually respond to me and so I felt like I’d won. My ego felt superior, I’d had the last word. Yet inside I knew that’s not how I wanted to behave, I didn’t enjoy calling people names – nobody does. That name calling came from a place of anger. Yet I will never know how it affected that person, I will never know wether that name calling still rings in her memory. The same as she will never know how I remember her shouting and name calling rings in my mind. We both let our egos take over and rip chunks into each other with name calling and arguing.

This is all too common. If I would’ve listened to my soul, and been mindful I would have dealt with the situation very differently. I would see that the girl had much pain, something troubling her in life that she seemed drama and attention. She obviously felt she needed reaction, good or bad. If I would’ve seen this at the time I would have responded differently instead of reacting.

Hence why we build up guards around ourselves, become closed off to other humans, afraid to show who we truly are.

If we are open, we are vulnerable and risk being hurt by others who are unconscious. Yet if we are aware that their hurtful words or actions are exactly that – unconscious. Then we have a chance of putting a stop to reaction and ego taking over.

Hurtful actions and comments stay in our memories for years, hence why it’s imperative that we bring awareness to ourselves. Everything we do and say to people has an effect on them, we never know to some extent. We must stop acting unconsciously towards others, causing harm because of we let our ego take over just in a fleeting moment you can’t undo those horrible words or horrible actions. We can only apologise.

The other side to being aware and conscious of your thoughts and actions is that when you are personally attacked by someone – you can choose to diminish their comment or action. You can become aware that they are suffering and that is the only reason why they’re behaving this way toward you. No happy person who is conscious goes around verbally abusing people.

We are all divine souls, only our ego separates us.

For example a woman once had a go at me, I was in the wrong slightly but she made it a big drama and was so angry, the tone of voice etc was not very nice. I used my awareness and could see she was troubled with something so I didn’t react or argue back. I apologised and instead talked with her as a friend would.

In a different situation someone would feel personally attacked and get angry, the ego doesn’t like to be blamed and so you would react and shout back. This would only lead to hurtful comments and cause harm to each other.. No resolving.

Then hurtful comments stay with people and they carry them for the rest of their lives.

Next time think when you’re going to criticise someone, comment on their looks or the way they are. It’s all too easy to judge and criticise when we don’t know what someone’s going through.

The only reason we can know what someone’s going through is if they’re open and honest with us – the only way we can achieve that is through less judgment and criticism in the world so people don’t let fear keep them closed up and guarded.

We are not robots, we are alive and we have feelings. We are all divine souls deep down, sometime we unconsciously let the ego take over us and that’s ok, don’t beat yourself up, become aware of it and observe how it makes you feel. The other day I made fun of someone being different and called her weird behind her back, who am I to do that? It doesn’t make me a better person, it made me feel horrible, I don’t know what she’s going through in life, my quick judgement will only prevent me from getting to know her and she is probably a lovely person. Judgment and criticism only separates us, prevents us from bonding and sharing.

Next time you find yourself judging someone or criticising them, have a think. Become aware. Be conscious to your words and actions to yourself and others. Be open and honest and expect the same in return. Try to respond instead of react to other people’s egos.

Be the change you want to see in the world 🙂

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Everything that irritates us in others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves

Everything that irritates us in others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

What do you think this means?

Do you ever think about why you get annoyed with people? Why that habit they have irritates you or the way they act or behave.

I read this quote a while ago and always tried figuring out where I could be behaving in the same way as the behaviour of others annoyed me.

I had a huge revelation whilst writing in my journal the other day. I was thinking about how I thought a guy I met had been special, yet I was open to meeting more special people in the future. However I didn’t like the thought of this one special guy wanting to go on and meet other special girls – I liked the thought of me being the only special girl, otherwise My mind said I wasn’t special at all.

You can imagine the confusion in my mind because to me I could meet several special people, all different and special to me. Yet if the tables where turned and the special guy met new special girls, my mind would say that I wasn’t special to him at all. It didn’t count the same for him that he could meet several special girls all different and special in each way to him. It woke me up to the fact that sometimes I think a situation is different before I even consider how I would act if I was in the other persons shoes?

Have you ever been the victim to someone treating you badly in a relationship or friendship? Perhaps your friend bailed on you to hang out with her new boyfriend, perhaps your boyfriend flirted with his ex.. Things that are bound to annoy you, things that make you question your relationship/friendship. Yet you may never question your love for your friend/partner of you where to bail on them or flirt with your ex. You don’t see it as anything wrong because you know you love your friend/ partner.. Yet they see your behaviour and feel unloved.

Usually we find it hard to recognize our own faults, me very much included. Sometimes others help us become aware of them , yet other time a good factor is to just look at what annoys us.. We will usually find we’re behaving exactly the same way to the same person or another.

Sometimes we need to think outside our bubble and take a step to look at our actions, how would we feel in the other persons shoes. Usually we can resolve whatever annoys us because we find it within ourselves too.

Have a think, write down people/things/behaviours/actions that annoy you and see if you can recognize yourself jn any of them. Be true, honest and open, that’s how you will break through the problem.

Good luck and remember writing a journal is great for figuring stuff out 🙂

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Be open and vulnerable to life

I choose to live my life as open, honest and true to myself and others as I can be. I am aware that I am not perfect and probably act unconsciously at some times as I don’t know it all and am still and always will be learning and discovering life.

Yet I know from the last few months onwards, that I will always try my best to be open and honest in situations.

I was thinking today as to what that might mean. Most people are scared and fear being themselves, being open and honest. With being open we reveal ourselves, not everyone will like that , perhaps we ourselves won’t like all that we see. By being open, we take risk. We can end up letting people in and sharing a beautiful connection or we risk being open to rejection.

When I was ill last year I had no feelings, no emotions. I was numb, all the time. I laughed when I felt I was supposed to and acted sad etc when appropriate.. I just know that I didn’t feel anything and it was pretty horrible .

Being open has transformed my life, yes it means I’m vulnerable and people can easily take advantage when I share myself with them. I am open to rejection, judgement and lies.. Yet since I have been true to myself I have experienced very little of the later. Instead I feel confident in knowing who I am ( for the first time in about 10 years) , I connect with people on a deeper level and people either accept me for who I am or move on.

I’m not saying it’s smooth sailing but being able to out yourself out there shows people you’re human. This blog is pretty real and sometimes I question how people will judge me for what I write , then I realise most of you probably have the same negative thoughts as I do about yourselves or situations. When we’re open we can see that we’re all the same deep down behind our human forms – no matter what we look like we all want the same things – happiness, health, love.

Be true to yourself. Be true to others.

You are enough 🙂

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Being honest with yourself and others

I always try my best to be honest. After reading The Four Agreements it just made sense to me, If I want less problems and drama in my life, have open relationships with people and be myself, then I must be honest. It isn’t always easy but I am aware that I feel uncomfortable, uneasy or anxious If I want to say something or feel a certain way but avoid the situation, lie or keep it inside.

The past week I have been moving around Sydney (hence why I haven’t posted in a while, sorry!) In this time quite a few different scenarios have arisen where I’ve needed to be honest, with myself and others. Being honest isn’t always easy though hey? We feel so much better afterwards but sometimes we worry about how it might affect other people if we’re honest with them.

The last week I have experienced the situations where I’ve found it difficult to be honest..

There have been a couple of days where I have wanted to spend time alone to re-coop my thoughts, feelings, emotions and just be me. Do my own thing, be free, suit myself. Yet I’ve made friends at hostels and they’ve wanted to hang out, do stuff together and then assume we will carry on spending every day together. I felt pressure to spend time with a person more and more, as they said ‘what are WE going to do this weekend, tomorrow etc’. I felt trapped and I realised that made me find the situation worse than it probably was, I didn’t enjoy their company and found myself wanting to make excuses to leave them at any chance I could. I realized this behaviour was probably pretty weird for them, and they actually had no idea what was going on with me so they probably assumed I was being rude or something. By not being honest I was hurting that persons feelings, making them paranoid and for myself I was anxious, uneasy and just wanted to be alone.

Then I figured, would the truth really be that bad? We’re all human, we all have the same thoughts and feelings, we all need time on our own sometimes. So in the end I was like, nope Im making a big deal and creating drama and problems by not being honest. So I went and told the guy in the morning (after I realized he’s made me coffee and strawberries, just to make it extra hard), I was just really honest and said, ‘don’t take it personally but Im really tired and drained from meeting so many new people this week and I really just want to spend the day by myself, i hope you understand and that’s ok.’ He said it was a shame but it was all good. I felt better because a huge weight had been lifted, I didn’t have to do something I didn’t feel like doing and the guy probably felt better because at least he knew what was going on and why I was acting a bit strange and distant.

Whenever people are behaving strange, out of the ordinary or in not a very nice way, it usually is nothing to do with you it’s always because they have something going on with themselves and they’re not happy or balanced or being honest.

The world makes so much more sense and we can all be at ease when we’re honest. Although It links hand in hand with not taking things personally. Because if people are honest and we don’t like what they say, it usually means because we take it personally and make it something it isn’t. For example if the guy would’ve taken it personally by thinking ‘ she doesn’t want to hang out with me, what’s wrong with me, why doesn’t she like my company’ etc, he would’ve created suffering and misery for himself by making my problem about him. When in reality I just wanted to be on my own, not in his company.

So that’s an example of being honest with others. And now for an example of how I had to be honest with myself..

I am very big on self-love and being kind to yourself, with words, thoughts and actions and I try to implement it in my life daily. When my mind wants to focus on negative things about myself I try to be aware of those thoughts and think differently. Yet I found myself in a situation where I was not comfortable in my own body, self-conscious and not very confident as myself. I think this was for various reasons of things I was carrying from the past, unconfident of the way I see myself after having an eating disorder, self-conscious of how other people would see me and I guess that made me uncomfortable in the mind. I was aware of my thoughts and had to be honest with myself and realise that actually I may need to practise some more self-love on my body as I need to practise what I preach. I am still learning to love myself, I think it’s a process over time for me, you, everyone. I do love myself more than previous times in my life but I realised that carrying my insecurities will not help my growth in confidence, I realised that I say I love myself yet find it difficult to express that. I want to be confident in my body and embrace it. So being honest with myself was to practise what I preach, to work on not only loving myself but having confidence in my body and truly realizing it for what it is.

It’s not always easy to be honest with yourself, it takes time to realize things because we don’t always notice things unless people give us a helping hand (by being honest). As I am very big on self-love It was hard for me to think, well actually maybe I need to practise some of this more on myself. I am confident about my mind and my beliefs and learning of the world yet I am perhaps not so confident about other things. That’s ok, in fact it’s great because now I have been honest with myself I can work on it. It’s a success. The only failure would be for me not to become aware and keep being unconfident.

There you go, two examples of being honest with myself & others. Isn’t easy, but so worth it 🙂

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