wherethesunisalwayshining

sprinkling positivity

Are you creating happiness or suffering for yourself?

Most of us hate the thought that we suffer because of our own thoughts or that we create unhappiness for ourselves. We want to blame someone else or other people’s actions or life situations for causing these negative emotions within us. But does that change or transform them? No, it’s just not accepting responsibility.

Im writing this post because I want us all to understand we are responsible for our happiness and for our suffering, when you understand that then you understand you have control over your thoughts and emotions and they don’t control you. Therefore you have the power and control over your happiness and suffering. You choose how to look at things and that’s what decides whether you are sad or happy.

And you may ask how? Whenever you’re sad or suffering in any form whether it’s anger, frustration, depression – question yourself -‘what thoughts am I thinking about myself and others?’ Because everything comes from thought. Thoughts manifest our reality and create our lives because a thought comes through in our words, actions and feelings.

Feelings of anger or resistance may arise within you from what I have just said, that’s not you that’s just the ego that’s inside each and every one of us. Put your ego aside and try it. Go through that feeling of resistance..

For example let’s say you are suffering because you’re feeling like the odd one out in your group of friends, perhaps you feel like you’re not as attractive, you don’t enjoy the same hobbies as them and you feel like they all know what they want in life because they’re smart and you have no idea and feel dumb. Think how those thoughts may be affecting your life. They are full of negativity, putting yourself down, comparing yourself to others and putting pressure on you.

So now you have awareness you would be able to identify these negative thoughts about the situation that makes you unhappy – great! Now you can change that because you have control over your thoughts. To turn it into a positive perspective, recognize that comparison is the thief of joy, there is no point comparing your beauty to another as we are all unique, there’s no one else on the planet like you and that is beautiful in itself. Focusing on what we do like about ourselves creates happy thoughts , whilst for example – perhaps wishing you had darker skin or bigger hips When in reality you are pale and slim, will only cause suffering because that’s not your body, it’s resisting what you are. show love for what you are and embrace it instead of trying to be something you’re not. Embracing our natural beauty is much easier than resisting and trying to change it!

we all have unique paths and different journeys, there is no smart and dumb because we all excel at different things and we’re all lacking in other things, sometimes it takes longer to find out what we excel in but isn’t that exciting, knowing there’s something out there to discover and be great at, you just have to experiment and try new things which is wonderful anyway.

You see everything changes when you change your perspective on things.

you decide whether you bring yourself suffering or joy.

i understand sometimes it’s difficult to see the other way of thinking if you’re too caught up in it, so perhaps ask a friend or write it down. Ask me and il happily try to find a positive outlook on a situation for you.

remember to take time out to think to yourself -what thoughts am I thinking that is creating this suffering or this happiness? Either is good to observe!

the sun is always shining 🙂

Advertisements
Leave a comment »

Don’t cry because it’s over, Smile because it happened :)

We all tend to get the post-holiday blues, sad feelings when a relationship ends or when we have to say goodbye to people we really connected with.

The latter relates to me at this moment, especially whilst travelling. I meet so many beautiful, like-minded people who I connect with. We share so many experiences, places, thoughts and feelings and then we have to say goodbye, all too soon. Never certain if we’ll ever see each other again.

Yet it’s entirely up to me how I think about it. We can all dwell on the past, wishing our holiday lasted longer, wishing we’d done something differently, but does that change things? no, because its in the past. The past is unchangeable so don’t create suffering in your present moment for something that cannot be changed.

It’s entirely up to us to think positively or negatively. We have the choice to control how we are thinking. Do we look back on the memories and create suffering for ourselves by wishing we’d could spend longer together, spend longer on holiday.

The thing is the moment may seem all big and important right now, yes its sad, something that made you really happy has just ended. Instead of dwelling on the fact it is no more, why not be grateful that it happened at all. Why not focus on the beautiful memories, be grateful you had that experience and that feeling of happiness, knowing it will come again in the future. Show gratitude for what life has given you and the fact that you will always have those happy memories.

We can always focus on what we dont have once something has gone, that only creates suffering for ourselves as we don’t see how lucky we are to have had it in the first place.

DON’T CRY BECAUSE ITS OVER, SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED 🙂

Leave a comment »

Feelings are our friends

How many times have we said, ‘I wish I didn’t feel like this’, ‘I wish I didn’t have these feelings for this person’, ‘I wish feelings didn’t exist sometimes’. I know I’ve said those words many times.

So let’s talk about our feelings.. how are you feeling?

In simple – If you are feeling good then you are thinking good thoughts. If you are feeling bad, you’re thinking bad thoughts.

Our feelings are directly linked to our thoughts, it’s our bodies clever way of letting us know what we’re thinking! Although most of the time we resist our feelings, unaware that we’re bringing them on ourselves by what we’re thinking!

So imagine how you’re life can change once you become aware of your feelings and accept them as your own creation, instead of resisting them and wishing you felt happier etc.. you can, you just need to change your thoughts!

‘Your feelings tell you very quickly what you’re thinking. Think about when your feelings suddenly took a dive – maybe when you heard some bad news. That feeling in your stomach was instant. Those butterfly feelings in your stomach when you meet up with someone you love. The heavy feeling of your chest when you’re sad. ‘ – The Secret

Feelings are our friends. They can bring us awareness to changing our thoughts. If you’re feeling depressed, angry, frustrated, upset, then you’re having bad thoughts. Only you can change that and choose to think positive thoughts.

You can choose to think positive thoughts by creating affirmations, focusing on the good. smile to yourself. do something you enjoy.

Don’t resist your feelings, face them head on as they are the key to bringing awareness to your thoughts. Feelings are the best indicator to letting you know what’s going on in your mind. It is impossible to be feeling bad and have good thoughts at the same time. If you are feeling bad it is because your are thinking thoughts that are making you feel bad.

Remember, through awareness we take control of our own minds, taking control of our life and creating a better one.

Leave a comment »

How the way we think causes suffering, not the situation itself.

We tend to blame people or situations for causing us unhappiness and suffering, yet this is not truly the case.

It’s not the situation or people who cause us suffering but the way we think about it, deal with it and react to it.

For example the same unfortunate things happen to people every day, yet each person thinks about that situation differently and has different levels of suffering.

Today I found myself causing myself pain, hurt and more suffering over something that wasn’t very important.

I had been told today I had the afternoon off so I made plans with a lady I met to go swimming in the Billabong. As it is my last week here and I had become friends with this lady, I thought it’d be special to go swimming in it together and sharing the experience. However plans changed and I had to work the lunchtime shift and my friend was leaving straight after lunch so with no one to cover me, it was not possible for me to go swimming with her.

I felt upset, annoyed and angry. I had these plans and I had to work when I was told I didn’t have to.

I was very aware of my feelings, i knew I was upset and angry and was looking for someone to blame.

So I took a step back at the bigger picture, did I enjoy feeling like this? No. Then why was I doing it to myself – It wasn’t the end of the world.

Then another thought piped up – ‘It’s such a nice sunny day though, it would’ve been perfect to go swimming there today, and it would’ve been a great experience before Elenoor left.’

That thought right there was doing no good, only harming myself further – causing me more suffering to feel angrier and upset.

I observed that thought closely and felt how that single sentence in my mind caused me many more negative emotions. Did they change the situation? no. They just made me feel worse so what was the point?

Instead I decided I can look at it a different way, accept that it just wasn’t meant to be. Perhaps there would’ve been a snake or something in there that I avoided, perhaps it wouldn’t of been to my expectation. And I can always go again, perhaps I just need to challenge myself and go alone. There where endless possibilities of ways I could look at the situation in a positive way, that didn’t cause me suffering.

Once I had changed my view of thinking and accepted the situation, I felt a weight had been lifted. It just wasn’t as important anymore, I couldn’t change it but I could change my way of thinking about it.

Every day in life we cause ourselves suffering from viewing situations negatively. When plans change, things dont go our way or how we expected.. it’s easy for negative thoughts to pop up – but we dont have to listen to them.

We can observe our thoughts and feel the emotions they create inside our bodies. Negative emotions don’t tend to feel nice or good to us so surely it makes sense for us to stop and look at the bigger picture, not let the ego react.

Emotions come as a reaction in our body to our thoughts. Think positive thoughts, you will feel happy. Feel negative emotions and you will feel stressed, anxious, fearful, angry, annoyed etc. Maybe like my situation, negative thoughts will pop into your head first and cause you to feel angry and upset, thats ok, just let them flow through you and observe them, then you can decide actually I dont want to feel like this, so i choose to see the situation differently, positively.

There’s always a positive outlook, we just need to find it.

The sun is always shining 🙂

Leave a comment »