wherethesunisalwayshining

sprinkling positivity

Love

QUOTE - EVERYTHING IS LOVELove is the answer to the healing of ourselves, humanity and all living beings. Once we find the love within ourselves, then we can share it.

To see everyone’s actions as coming from love or a calling for love – We are all humans. perfectly imperfect. We slip up, we make mistakes, when this happens we need love, support, understanding.. there is no need to judge, criticize, compare one another. We are all the same beneath the surface, we have the same fears and the same deep earning for love & connection.

To live life only viewing yourself and others from the surface, is to miss out on a life of depth and meaning. Life has infinite depth, you have infinite depth. You have meaning, Life has meaning.

You are Love. Life is Love.

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Feeling lonely? Perhaps the universe is teaching you to enjoy being alone

I’m sure most of us have had difficult times where we have felt isolated, alone, lonely..

We have craved company, socialising or perhaps the opposite but not bearing to be with ourselves.

Why is it that we have all this time alone.. why not look at it with curiosity.. I believe everything is exactly as its supposed to be.

I remember for the best part of last year I felt lonely. I couldn’t quite understand it because all my friends seemed to have their lives set out, and I seemed like the odd one out, the failure. The only one back at home, not knowing what step was next.

After months of this, I began journalling.. I cant remember what got me started but It helped.

It made me put things out of my mind, just getting it out on paper was a de-stress, less confusion of it all buzzing up there.

The big shift came a year ago when I was casually writing my thoughts and I realized I didnt do anything i did as a child.. reading, dancing, painting.. So i joined the library.. and then I started reading many books about the mind, life, spirituality.

As you can see, it was a bit like a domino effect, it all just began coming together. I learnt to let go of fears and anxiety and replace it with trust, faith.. and it all began to make sense to me.

I was alone, still. But instead of resisting it, I let it strengthen me. I began by taking myself out of the house on walks in nature, I went to my favourite coffee shop and read of wrote or people watched, I made the most of being able to relax, I found things to be grateful for. I began by being the person I wanted to be, I remember saying hello to people, smiling and wishing them a good day.. the difference that made me feel and the response I got was incredible. It set my day up, just those small little things.

I still feel lonely sometimes.. there’s definitely been plenty of those times whilst travelling too, noit necesserily when I havent had company, but felt alone as not to be myself and connect with others. They’re all places for growth, strength, practise.

Life is a continious cycle of surrendering, letting go, trusting in the divine.

Have faith in what’s to come. Let go and let be.

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Our words and actions affect each other

In the previous post I touched up on the ripple effect that we create when we unconsciously act negatively towards another person, and how it can impact their thoughts and beliefs about themselves or others.

I just wanted to explain a little more in depth of how this works. You may think a negative comment might not affect someone for the rest of their life and this may be true, but either way it will affect them. Do you want to be responsible for making people suffer?

We all have a great impact on each other when we are in contact. This being The general public, friends, acquaintances, partners, people we have relationship with, our family and parents.

I will give a few examples..

The general public, we may not have a life standing impact on these people who we brush past once in a blue moon, nonetheless we have impact. For example, working in a coffee shop it truly makes a difference when you have a customer come in with a happy, positive attitude and conversation, it has a positive impact on my day and I’m bound to have a much happier day just from the lift of that one persons positive energy.
Whereas if someone is rude and unkind towards me, I am less likely to be jumping for joy and this might affect me for the rest of the day
– which ripple effects onto other customers. The same can happen vice versa, if i was horrible to a customer it could ruin their day and they may never return after their bad experience.

As people we have an unhealthy habit of holding onto people’s words and actions and taking them personally.

However the most serious cases and more harmful are in our close relationships – with people we think highly of, people we care for or people we love. Being our partners, friends, lovers or family members.

A negative action or words will hurt deeper if it’s by someone you’re close to.

An example is flirting with other people whilst in a relationship and perhaps even cheating. The words and actions you use affect the partner, perhaps for life. It can knock self confidence and esteem, they may grow insecure about themselves. Many people have trust issues and find it difficult to let go and carry this to their next relationship. Did you ever consider that cheating on someone could affect that persons relationships for the rest of their lives? Or how they think of themselves? I have been guilty of doing this in the past, luckily I was young and completely unaware of how my actions affect others, it’s in the past and I forgive myself and let it teach me
for the future. If you have also treated someone this way, don’t beat yourself up but learn from it and it’s effects.

If you are a parent, be conscious of how you bring up your child, be aware of what you teach them of what you say to them and how you say it. Children already have so many pressures, they don’t need to be threatened by fear of not being good enough. I see so many children forced into doing things they don’t enjoy, living their parents dreams. Think of how this will affect your child growing up – does it show you support them to be themselves, giving them a foundation to being confident, to be who they want to be?

On the opposite hand, be aware of how you speak to your parents. It’s easy to take it out on our folks after a bad day. In my teenage years I used to say I hate you to their faces, I cant imagine how that felt for them. When we disrespect our parents, do something against them or let them down, imagine how that affects them. They may start believing they’re terrible parents, blame themselves, blame each other – causing friction in marriage. It can spiral in many directions.

Many things can add up more and more if you carry past memories into the future. I have also felt insecure, doubted myself and tried to change myself from being deeply unhappy with the feeling of not being good enough. This stemmed from people’s unconscious actions and words, people That I forgive because they were unaware to the affects they had on me.
It only came to my awareness through therapy how much we all affect each other. some large and some small things stuck with me for years, i am a sensitive soul who doesn’t take things lightly and I held onto many things from the past.

We all tend to hold onto hurt from the past from people’s unconscious actions, this is why it’s important to dig them out become aware of them and let them go. Forgive the people who acted unkindly towards you as they did without awareness from a hurt inside themselves. I also hope anyone I hurt in the past who is reading this, can forgive me for my unconscious actions or words.

I hope this long (sorry!) post helps you realise the different levels of impact we have on each other’s lives. Perhaps it will make you think twice before acting or speaking negatively.

Let go of the past and learn from it – bring awareness to your thoughts, words and actions 🙂

Where the sun is always shining x

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The ripple effect, how our actions affect other people.

We are all the same, underneath the outer layers we all have feelings, emotions. The things that block us from viewing it is that were driven by fear.

People who judge and criticise behave unconsciously, they’re unaware of the damage. This is why becoming conscious and aware of our thoughts, words and actions is so important. Everything we do has a ripple affect on other people.

Have you ever said something horrible to someone? I’m guessing so. Did you ever notice how it made you feel? I’m guessing not good. When we say something horrible to someone it’s not us, it’s our ego taking over and usually coming from a place of fear, anger or sadness.

For example in high school I remember a girl who loved drama, confrontation and starting arguements. She enjoyed picking on me and I never understood why. One day I was so fed up and in the end I called her fat. She didn’t actually respond to me and so I felt like I’d won. My ego felt superior, I’d had the last word. Yet inside I knew that’s not how I wanted to behave, I didn’t enjoy calling people names – nobody does. That name calling came from a place of anger. Yet I will never know how it affected that person, I will never know wether that name calling still rings in her memory. The same as she will never know how I remember her shouting and name calling rings in my mind. We both let our egos take over and rip chunks into each other with name calling and arguing.

This is all too common. If I would’ve listened to my soul, and been mindful I would have dealt with the situation very differently. I would see that the girl had much pain, something troubling her in life that she seemed drama and attention. She obviously felt she needed reaction, good or bad. If I would’ve seen this at the time I would have responded differently instead of reacting.

Hence why we build up guards around ourselves, become closed off to other humans, afraid to show who we truly are.

If we are open, we are vulnerable and risk being hurt by others who are unconscious. Yet if we are aware that their hurtful words or actions are exactly that – unconscious. Then we have a chance of putting a stop to reaction and ego taking over.

Hurtful actions and comments stay in our memories for years, hence why it’s imperative that we bring awareness to ourselves. Everything we do and say to people has an effect on them, we never know to some extent. We must stop acting unconsciously towards others, causing harm because of we let our ego take over just in a fleeting moment you can’t undo those horrible words or horrible actions. We can only apologise.

The other side to being aware and conscious of your thoughts and actions is that when you are personally attacked by someone – you can choose to diminish their comment or action. You can become aware that they are suffering and that is the only reason why they’re behaving this way toward you. No happy person who is conscious goes around verbally abusing people.

We are all divine souls, only our ego separates us.

For example a woman once had a go at me, I was in the wrong slightly but she made it a big drama and was so angry, the tone of voice etc was not very nice. I used my awareness and could see she was troubled with something so I didn’t react or argue back. I apologised and instead talked with her as a friend would.

In a different situation someone would feel personally attacked and get angry, the ego doesn’t like to be blamed and so you would react and shout back. This would only lead to hurtful comments and cause harm to each other.. No resolving.

Then hurtful comments stay with people and they carry them for the rest of their lives.

Next time think when you’re going to criticise someone, comment on their looks or the way they are. It’s all too easy to judge and criticise when we don’t know what someone’s going through.

The only reason we can know what someone’s going through is if they’re open and honest with us – the only way we can achieve that is through less judgment and criticism in the world so people don’t let fear keep them closed up and guarded.

We are not robots, we are alive and we have feelings. We are all divine souls deep down, sometime we unconsciously let the ego take over us and that’s ok, don’t beat yourself up, become aware of it and observe how it makes you feel. The other day I made fun of someone being different and called her weird behind her back, who am I to do that? It doesn’t make me a better person, it made me feel horrible, I don’t know what she’s going through in life, my quick judgement will only prevent me from getting to know her and she is probably a lovely person. Judgment and criticism only separates us, prevents us from bonding and sharing.

Next time you find yourself judging someone or criticising them, have a think. Become aware. Be conscious to your words and actions to yourself and others. Be open and honest and expect the same in return. Try to respond instead of react to other people’s egos.

Be the change you want to see in the world 🙂

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HOW TO GO FROM BEING UNHAPPY TO HAPPY

quote

YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.

That doesn’t count if you’re unhappy with everything going wrong in life, right? let’s say you’re job is wearing you down, your boss keeps demanding more and more from you, you don’t get paid enough so you’re unhappy from always being skint, you’re losing contact with your friends because you can’t socialise due to lack of money and to top that you’re boyfriend is no longer putting any effort into your relationship so you’re feeling pretty trapped and alone = very unhappy. 

In this scenario you might read ‘YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS’ and think pfft i wish it was that easy.

Let me tell you.. IT IS !(read on)

As human beings we like to complicate things – but really it is that simple. No one else can make us happy, only ourselves.

So if the scenario above is similar to something you’re going through you probably feel like you’re spiralling down a big black hole and its getting harder to see a way out.

The problem starts with the job. you’re not happy in your workplace = you can get a new job. Perhaps not right a way but if you think about the time you’ve probably sat down complaining about how unhappy you are or thinking about it – you could of been much more productive and searched, applied for jobs or handed out cvs. When we’re spending time feeling sorry for ourselves and complaining we’re being stuck. When we’re stuck the situation stays the same – to move forward we need to do something and become productive. 

In this situation you can search and apply for jobs, you can learn to say no to you’re boss and let them know you can’t cope with extra work at the moment, you can explain you’re situation and ask if a payrise would be possible, you can explain the circumstances to your friends and invite them for nights in or walks etc, you can be honest with your partner and explain either something needs to change or you finish the relationship. 

You can do lots of things to create your own happiness.  If you’re unhappy and not willing to make changes, instead just sit and moan about how bad life is at the moment (we all do it from time to time!) then we remain stuck in that same bad situation. If you’re unhappy and prepared to make changes – Happiness will come to you and you will move forward in life.

YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. 

Remember, the sun is always shining 🙂

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