wherethesunisalwayshining

sprinkling positivity

The ripple effect, how our actions affect other people.

We are all the same, underneath the outer layers we all have feelings, emotions. The things that block us from viewing it is that were driven by fear.

People who judge and criticise behave unconsciously, they’re unaware of the damage. This is why becoming conscious and aware of our thoughts, words and actions is so important. Everything we do has a ripple affect on other people.

Have you ever said something horrible to someone? I’m guessing so. Did you ever notice how it made you feel? I’m guessing not good. When we say something horrible to someone it’s not us, it’s our ego taking over and usually coming from a place of fear, anger or sadness.

For example in high school I remember a girl who loved drama, confrontation and starting arguements. She enjoyed picking on me and I never understood why. One day I was so fed up and in the end I called her fat. She didn’t actually respond to me and so I felt like I’d won. My ego felt superior, I’d had the last word. Yet inside I knew that’s not how I wanted to behave, I didn’t enjoy calling people names – nobody does. That name calling came from a place of anger. Yet I will never know how it affected that person, I will never know wether that name calling still rings in her memory. The same as she will never know how I remember her shouting and name calling rings in my mind. We both let our egos take over and rip chunks into each other with name calling and arguing.

This is all too common. If I would’ve listened to my soul, and been mindful I would have dealt with the situation very differently. I would see that the girl had much pain, something troubling her in life that she seemed drama and attention. She obviously felt she needed reaction, good or bad. If I would’ve seen this at the time I would have responded differently instead of reacting.

Hence why we build up guards around ourselves, become closed off to other humans, afraid to show who we truly are.

If we are open, we are vulnerable and risk being hurt by others who are unconscious. Yet if we are aware that their hurtful words or actions are exactly that – unconscious. Then we have a chance of putting a stop to reaction and ego taking over.

Hurtful actions and comments stay in our memories for years, hence why it’s imperative that we bring awareness to ourselves. Everything we do and say to people has an effect on them, we never know to some extent. We must stop acting unconsciously towards others, causing harm because of we let our ego take over just in a fleeting moment you can’t undo those horrible words or horrible actions. We can only apologise.

The other side to being aware and conscious of your thoughts and actions is that when you are personally attacked by someone – you can choose to diminish their comment or action. You can become aware that they are suffering and that is the only reason why they’re behaving this way toward you. No happy person who is conscious goes around verbally abusing people.

We are all divine souls, only our ego separates us.

For example a woman once had a go at me, I was in the wrong slightly but she made it a big drama and was so angry, the tone of voice etc was not very nice. I used my awareness and could see she was troubled with something so I didn’t react or argue back. I apologised and instead talked with her as a friend would.

In a different situation someone would feel personally attacked and get angry, the ego doesn’t like to be blamed and so you would react and shout back. This would only lead to hurtful comments and cause harm to each other.. No resolving.

Then hurtful comments stay with people and they carry them for the rest of their lives.

Next time think when you’re going to criticise someone, comment on their looks or the way they are. It’s all too easy to judge and criticise when we don’t know what someone’s going through.

The only reason we can know what someone’s going through is if they’re open and honest with us – the only way we can achieve that is through less judgment and criticism in the world so people don’t let fear keep them closed up and guarded.

We are not robots, we are alive and we have feelings. We are all divine souls deep down, sometime we unconsciously let the ego take over us and that’s ok, don’t beat yourself up, become aware of it and observe how it makes you feel. The other day I made fun of someone being different and called her weird behind her back, who am I to do that? It doesn’t make me a better person, it made me feel horrible, I don’t know what she’s going through in life, my quick judgement will only prevent me from getting to know her and she is probably a lovely person. Judgment and criticism only separates us, prevents us from bonding and sharing.

Next time you find yourself judging someone or criticising them, have a think. Become aware. Be conscious to your words and actions to yourself and others. Be open and honest and expect the same in return. Try to respond instead of react to other people’s egos.

Be the change you want to see in the world 🙂

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We are all beautiful unique beings. We can’t let fear get in the way of being proud of who we are

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What I see in you is a reflection of myself

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Where the Ego is concerned, we’re all actors playing different Roles in life.

Have you ever witnessed somebody your close to, meet new people and they act completely different? That’s not them, that’s their ego.

Have you ever been asked by a shop assistant how are you and replied im fine thanks, even though you’re feeling sad. That’s not you, that’s your ego.

When you go to the hair dresser do you feel the need to make conversation, even though you’d prefer to be sitting in silence? That again is your ego.

Our ego like to play different roles with different people. When we’re buying something for example, we play the role of a customer – making general chit chat because that’s what customers do. We’re acting like a customer.

When we meet different people we don’t act ourselves, the ego kicks in. For example you would act a different role if you were to meet the queen, yet how would you act if you were to meet her cleaners?

We would probably feel inferior looking up to the queen, acting like we’re from the same class, trying to be someone we’re not.

With the cleaners we would perhaps talk down to them and feel superior, that we are better, again being someone we’re not.

When we are in a situation when we feel superior or inferior, that’s when we can become aware that’s not our true self – its our ego. When we’re playing roles of the ego, that’s when we are not being real, we don’t connect as humans and realise that we are all the same.

So much of the time we let what we do for work take over who we are. We let our ego take over and believe that what we do for work, what we look like on the outside, what we own, what social class we are in – that’s who we are. But its not, that’s not what defines us. We are so much more than everything thats outside of us.

For example if you become a parent, yes it takes over your life but you are still you, a person, a human being with a life. If you are sick, you are not that sickness you are simply dealing with a sickness. If you are a content living in a council estate, it doesn’t make you any less successful as somebody with a mansion that may be deeply unhappy.

We play the different roles to act to peoples different expectations. We act differently with our friends to when we’re with our parents, why is that? Are we afraid our parents wont accept us as we truly are, or are we putting on a role of behaviour when we’re with our friends that our parents wouldn’t recognize?

Perhaps think about how you act differently with different people. Observe how you are, are you the same person with your family, friends, co-workers, public? If not, question why? Why are you afraid to be who you truly are.

I felt sad on public transport a while back and although I wanted to cry and could feel the emotion building up, i didn’t let it out because I was worried what other people would think of me. I was worried they’d stare at the girl crying. I observed that experience and now I question why, it was obviously my ego. You’re not meant to show your emotion unless you’re happy, that’s what my belief was and that’s for many others too. That’s why so many people plaster a smile on their face and say ‘im fine’, yet they question the meaning of their life and cry at home most nights.

Why are we all lying to each other? Why can’t we be open and honest when things are bothering us? Because our ego’s get in the way. Our ego’s dont want us to be vulnerable, if we’re open then we may easily get rejected therefore its easier to stay guarder and cold, sticking to the smiley yes im fine. This is why we’re not connecting with each other as beings and instead using assumptions and judgments to rule our life – letting the ego live our lives.

I hope this post helps people identify when the ego starts to kick in. Don’t be ashamed or beat yourself up about it, it’s perfectly natural. The ego is very strong, only when you become aware of it and its actions, thats when it becomes weaker.

Challenge it and see for yourselves 🙂

Remember, the sun is always shining 🙂

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