wherethesunisalwayshining

sprinkling positivity

Feeling lonely? Perhaps the universe is teaching you to enjoy being alone

I’m sure most of us have had difficult times where we have felt isolated, alone, lonely..

We have craved company, socialising or perhaps the opposite but not bearing to be with ourselves.

Why is it that we have all this time alone.. why not look at it with curiosity.. I believe everything is exactly as its supposed to be.

I remember for the best part of last year I felt lonely. I couldn’t quite understand it because all my friends seemed to have their lives set out, and I seemed like the odd one out, the failure. The only one back at home, not knowing what step was next.

After months of this, I began journalling.. I cant remember what got me started but It helped.

It made me put things out of my mind, just getting it out on paper was a de-stress, less confusion of it all buzzing up there.

The big shift came a year ago when I was casually writing my thoughts and I realized I didnt do anything i did as a child.. reading, dancing, painting.. So i joined the library.. and then I started reading many books about the mind, life, spirituality.

As you can see, it was a bit like a domino effect, it all just began coming together. I learnt to let go of fears and anxiety and replace it with trust, faith.. and it all began to make sense to me.

I was alone, still. But instead of resisting it, I let it strengthen me. I began by taking myself out of the house on walks in nature, I went to my favourite coffee shop and read of wrote or people watched, I made the most of being able to relax, I found things to be grateful for. I began by being the person I wanted to be, I remember saying hello to people, smiling and wishing them a good day.. the difference that made me feel and the response I got was incredible. It set my day up, just those small little things.

I still feel lonely sometimes.. there’s definitely been plenty of those times whilst travelling too, noit necesserily when I havent had company, but felt alone as not to be myself and connect with others. They’re all places for growth, strength, practise.

Life is a continious cycle of surrendering, letting go, trusting in the divine.

Have faith in what’s to come. Let go and let be.

Advertisements
Leave a comment »

Why we yearn for love

As a teenager i used to yearn for love..I felt if only I had a partner, then I would be complete. I would have someone to be mine. Someone to accept me as I am, and to then love me.. what an incredible feeling to just have someone to share your life with..

I know i’m not the only one who had these thoughts, dreams, illusions..

I still have those thoughts some days.. I wonder to myself, wouldnt it be nice to share my adventures and stories with someone. The truth is I am a hopeless romantic, I think perhaps I love the idea of love, more than love itself.

Now when I have those days, I realize I am exactly what I need and if I’m yearning for love then its yearning for more from myself, from within.

I dont need anyone to be mine, I have myself. I dont need to belong to anyone else, I belong to myself.

Someone told me once – We’re always longing for someone to hold our hand when we have another one right in front of us. God made us perfect, complete, whole.. he gave us two hands for us to hold our own.

When I have thoughts recurring over love and seeking it outside, I question what do I want from those thoughts.. what are they telling me that I need to give to myself.

Sometimes its a hug.. sometimes its a foot massage.. sometimes its a few compassionate kind words.

Whatever it is, that aching, that craving and wanting.. its coming from you, for you.

It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to be desired, accepted, loved.. it makes us feel valued. But what happens when that gets taken away from us.. do we suddenly become worthless?

If we value ourselves, we no longer feel the need for other to value us.

Love is a beautiful thing, to experience in all its glory and truth, we must first love ourselves.. Otherwise we simply desire to be desired. love to be valued. Love to be made to feel better about ourselves.. that’s not what love is.

Loving and valuing ourselves takes effort, patience, compassion, kindness. It takes dedication and work, it takes unveiling all the masks, undoing, getting to know whats underneath.. confronting.

People say love yourself first before you can love another. I get it. Its all beginning to make sense to me. Now I’m simply on that path to really feeling.. and yes it takes a whole lotta patience, compassion and kindness. But I feel my heart slowly cracking open, its not happening overnight but i slowly feel my walls breaking down. I know it in my mind and I am beginning to feel it in my heart but I am working on feeling it fiercly, passionately and lovingly.. like the person that I am.

I hope this post makes you think about your desires.. what you long for.. what love means to you.. what you want from others that you could give yourself?

It all starts from within.. people say that all the time. now lets all go on a journey together and explore what that means..

Leave a comment »

Your talent is gods gift to you..

Leave a comment »

Feel the fear and do it anyway

Fear and Denial. That’s what I’ve been working with this week.

Through observing my behaviour and patterns, I have come to recognize that I keep dismissing my desires. Any time an opportunity comes up to create something for myself that I am passionate about, I get excited but then dismiss it with the excuses like –

‘Its not the right time’, ‘ I don’t have the time or energy right now’ , ‘I should just focus on something smaller for now’,

I think the truth is that I am denying what I want because I am scared. Scared to admit to myself and ask for what I want because then I will want to go ahead and pursue it. If I try to pursue it, then I am vulnerable because I am out of my comfort zone in the unknown, which brings up fear.

Fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of not being taken seriously.

I questioned why are these things important to me? I realized it’s only the ego they are important to.It is only my ego that will feel embarrassed, inferior or a failure. And essentially I’m trying to weaken the ego so what’s to hold me back?

If I know within that I have good intentions, that I will try my best and that’s all I can do. Then why let the ego create a false illusion of what might happen in the future because It is afraid of being damaged.

Does this scenario sound similar to you? Are you afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone to try something new for yourself? Are you afraid you will fail, look stupid or have people laugh at you?

Yet if we give in to these fears then we will never move forward, forever thinking ‘What If?’

Deep within ourselves we know what we want, sometimes we are just to scared to tell ourselves it and ask.

I think our purpose is to fulfill our passions and desires, otherwise why would they be there? They are god’s gift to us.

What we do with them is up to us. But fear.. fear is just an illusion, it is what prevents us from looking or searching for our desires, it is our excuse for acting small and inferior because we are afraid to risk things to become what we desire.

I am challenging myself to give up fear, knowing that it is only a limitation. I transform my energy to focusing on what I can do, what I can create, focusing only on the positive with affirmations and visualisation of what I want to create.

Like attracts like, its the Law of Attraction. Eliminate doubt, there is no space for that.

Great things come from the unknown..

Leave a comment »

Recognizing the power behind your thoughts

Recognizing how your thoughts create an impact on your life is essential for everyone, especially if you find yourself suffering from unhappiness, discontentment, depression, anxiety and stress.

All of which are the outcome of negative thought patterns.

The good news.. we can change our thought patterns into positive ones, creating a positive life!

Our thoughts create our reality..

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN, you may well ask.

THOUGHTS  =  EMOTION  =  SENSATION  =  ACTION/ IMPULSE/ BEHAVIOUR.

Let’s say for example,

The kid’s are fighting (scenario)

‘These kids never listen to me, I can’t cope with this right now’ (thought)

Overwhelming feeling of stress and anxiety. (emotion)

tightness in the chest, shorter breath and muscle tension. (sensations)

shouting at the children, crying and perhaps smack them. (Action/Impulse/Behaviour)

Another example,

You’re with your partner and he’s talking to his really kind and beautiful friend. (scenario)

‘Why is he with me when he could do so much better, what if he leaves me because i’m not good enough.’ (thought)

Overwhelming feeling of panic, jealousy, anxiety. (emotion)

Heavy feeling in the stomach, adrenaline, fast heart beat (sensations)

Act needy and insecure with the partner, controlling and demand the partner not to see her again. (action/impulse/behaviour)

So, you see how easy it is for our thoughts to affect our reality? Creating and shaping our lives and the situations that arise.

Bring awareness to your thoughts and recognize the power behind them, this way you are taking control of your life and choosing what you bring into your reality and what you attract.

Leave a comment »

Tuning in with your thoughts

Thoughts.. We have so many running in and out of our minds on auto-pilot that we aren’t even aware of most of them..

We have variations of thoughts, some pop up completely random, some we think regularly (like lists of things to do), some are memories from the past and some are illusions of the future.

Most of the time we don’t even know because we aren’t even aware of our thoughts, they’re running in and out without a pause to observe or contemplation.

With awareness and observation of your thoughts you get to know yourself better and can make significant changes to improve your life..

  • Taking notice of the voice/tone you speak to yourself in.

We all have a critique up there in the mind, bringing awareness to how we speak to ourselves can be shocking for some people. Also bringing awareness to the tone.Let’s say you’re answering a question in front of a class and getting the answer wrong, the critique within might pipe up and say ‘ well done stupid, you just made yourself look like a right idiot.’ Noticing how you speak to yourself is crucial as it can be really damaging for your self-esteem and confidence.

  • Noticing if you honour yourself and listen to yourself,

Bringing awareness to your thoughts can help you tune in and listen to yourself. Let’s say you’re really tired and run down, all you want is an early night in, then work calls and asks you to work a shift and before you even know it you’ve said yes. Inside you’re screaming no and can’t think of anything worse, but you felt compelled to say yes to please others, to make others happy even if that means you suffer. That is not giving yourself the love and care you deserve.

  • Noticing how you interact with others, are you judgemental/critical?

We all fear judgement from others, that is why we do what others expect from us. We care about what others think of us, whether they know us or not. Bring awareness to your thoughts and you will notice the judgements and labels you put on people just from their appearance or actions. You may decide you don’t like your mum’s new boyfriend because the first time you meet him he is very quiet and appears rude by not making an effort. This would be your judgement, probably without considering how he would be feeling, perhaps scared,nervous or overwhelmed. Usually through judging others we make assumptions which aren’t accurate and lose the chance of connection and new relationships.

Leave a comment »

Taking responsibility instead of blaming others

We have control over ourselves, we have the power.

By blaming someone, we give that power away, we give it to them. We are saying, it is your fault that I feel like this – which is essentially saying, you have control over me and my feelings.

Saying someone else creates your suffering is not taking responsibility for yourself. You are in control of your own life.

I used to really struggle with this. I would get so frustrated and upset because other people would do things that annoyed me. I blamed other people for my unhappiness. But it was my perception. I let myself get annoyed at external things beyond my control, until I learned that I control how I  view things.

Last week I began to get stressed and frustrated looking after a child who is pretty demanding and craves attention. My mind was on auto-pilot thinking, ‘ she’s so demanding, ungrateful, needy and controlling. it’s her way or no way.’ This kind of thinking just led me to feel more and more annoyed every time she’d have a new injury or be demanding my attention without any patience.

When I became aware of my thoughts I realized the effect they where having on my body (stress,anxiety,muscle tension) and how I was acting colder, blunter with the child. Both things I didn’t want.

So as I stepped out of auto-pilot, I took responsibility because I know that it was only my perception at fault. The way I was viewing the situation was as if my thoughts and assumptions where the truth. Thoughts and assumptions are not truth.

Instead I decided to be curious, this child would never choose to be this unhappy with herself, she doesn’t choose to get stressed out,cry at little things, she doesn’t choose to be so needy and demanding of her mum. There must be more depth to it than I am currently viewing. I understood she has insecurities, she needs attention because she is missing something. With understanding, I began to grow compassion and empathy and realised theres a lot more depth to this little person than I know.

There’s a lot more depth to each and every person, more than we will ever know.

So I had that transformation with our relationship, by taking responsibility and deciding to change my views instead of just blaming her for my anxious state.

When we take responsibility for ourselves, we recognize our power and control. We recognize the freedom of choice.

Leave a comment »

Get to know who you really are and accept all that you discover

quote-2-199e

Leave a comment »

Our thoughts – Foreground and Background

This week I began a mindfulness training and something the teacher said really stuck with me.

My last post was about accepting ourselves on a whole, without rejecting the uncomfortable or shameful parts. Accepting ourselves for all that arises within us, that including the negative.

Resisting or fighting negativity only focuses on it and creates more – as we know what we focus on grows.

And so, my teacher said whilst we began a meditation – notice you will have background noise, but bring your attention to whatever you want to focus on, let that be in the foreground.

So for example, we had bin lorries beeping in the background of our minds but our attention was to focus on the leg (in a body scan mediation). Therefore the leg being in the foreground of the mind.

Occasionally during meditation, our attention will wonder and the main focus will drift into the background and something else will replace in the foreground (focus).. until we become aware that we have drifted and we pull it back.

This is what struck me. Isn’t it the same with everything in life? Sometimes we are focused on the positive but the negative is just in the background and sometimes negativity will arise and become the focus, yet positivty remains in the background, it’s just waiting for us to pull it back to the foreground again to be our main focus.

Also about accepting it as a whole, accepting that our mind’s do drift from thought to thought instead of being constantly focused on the meditation.. and that’s perfectly ok.

Let’s be kind to ourselves and smile whenever the background shifts to the foreground or we lose focus. Let’s smile and accept that it happens. Lets remind ourselves, We are human and doing our best 🙂

Leave a comment »

Finding Balance in your life

Finding balance can be difficult, especially as we have so many different areas of our lives to balance.

Creating this equal balance in our lives takes time and effort to tune in with ourselves, to listen to gut feeling and intuition, to know if we are doing too much or could push ourselves to do more.

Its about experimenting and learning about yourself. Learning to trust your body, it takes great care of you and will always let you know if something is wrong and therefore out of balance. This is why it’s so important to be present and take time daily to tune-in with yourself.

People often run around all day, busy or stressed, rushing from one place to another. They probably get symptoms of illness way before they stop and realize, by this time the body is screaming. Where as if you take time daily to listen you will notice even minor symptoms and therefore be able to prevent it getting worse.

If you find yourself constantly tired or ill with lethargic symptoms, cold, flu’s, sickness bugs or digestive problems.. consider why that is.

A few years ago I had a cold every other week. I kept complaining but once i’d get better I went back to normal and the next week I’d be sick again. I never thought about getting to the root of the problem and trying to prevent illness. It turned out I was supressing emotions, living with a unhealthy diet, not enough sleep or too much, drinking a lot of alcohol and spending no time alone. I had completely lost balance of many areas in life, this resulted in feeling lost and constantly run down and lethargic.

Balance is they key to a healthy life. Make time for yourself, only you can figure out a balance for your mind, body and soul. You have to truly listen to you as all our bodies are unique to us

Leave a comment »