sprinkling positivity

Pain and suffering comes from your thoughts


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The ripple effect, how our actions affect other people.

We are all the same, underneath the outer layers we all have feelings, emotions. The things that block us from viewing it is that were driven by fear.

People who judge and criticise behave unconsciously, they’re unaware of the damage. This is why becoming conscious and aware of our thoughts, words and actions is so important. Everything we do has a ripple affect on other people.

Have you ever said something horrible to someone? I’m guessing so. Did you ever notice how it made you feel? I’m guessing not good. When we say something horrible to someone it’s not us, it’s our ego taking over and usually coming from a place of fear, anger or sadness.

For example in high school I remember a girl who loved drama, confrontation and starting arguements. She enjoyed picking on me and I never understood why. One day I was so fed up and in the end I called her fat. She didn’t actually respond to me and so I felt like I’d won. My ego felt superior, I’d had the last word. Yet inside I knew that’s not how I wanted to behave, I didn’t enjoy calling people names – nobody does. That name calling came from a place of anger. Yet I will never know how it affected that person, I will never know wether that name calling still rings in her memory. The same as she will never know how I remember her shouting and name calling rings in my mind. We both let our egos take over and rip chunks into each other with name calling and arguing.

This is all too common. If I would’ve listened to my soul, and been mindful I would have dealt with the situation very differently. I would see that the girl had much pain, something troubling her in life that she seemed drama and attention. She obviously felt she needed reaction, good or bad. If I would’ve seen this at the time I would have responded differently instead of reacting.

Hence why we build up guards around ourselves, become closed off to other humans, afraid to show who we truly are.

If we are open, we are vulnerable and risk being hurt by others who are unconscious. Yet if we are aware that their hurtful words or actions are exactly that – unconscious. Then we have a chance of putting a stop to reaction and ego taking over.

Hurtful actions and comments stay in our memories for years, hence why it’s imperative that we bring awareness to ourselves. Everything we do and say to people has an effect on them, we never know to some extent. We must stop acting unconsciously towards others, causing harm because of we let our ego take over just in a fleeting moment you can’t undo those horrible words or horrible actions. We can only apologise.

The other side to being aware and conscious of your thoughts and actions is that when you are personally attacked by someone – you can choose to diminish their comment or action. You can become aware that they are suffering and that is the only reason why they’re behaving this way toward you. No happy person who is conscious goes around verbally abusing people.

We are all divine souls, only our ego separates us.

For example a woman once had a go at me, I was in the wrong slightly but she made it a big drama and was so angry, the tone of voice etc was not very nice. I used my awareness and could see she was troubled with something so I didn’t react or argue back. I apologised and instead talked with her as a friend would.

In a different situation someone would feel personally attacked and get angry, the ego doesn’t like to be blamed and so you would react and shout back. This would only lead to hurtful comments and cause harm to each other.. No resolving.

Then hurtful comments stay with people and they carry them for the rest of their lives.

Next time think when you’re going to criticise someone, comment on their looks or the way they are. It’s all too easy to judge and criticise when we don’t know what someone’s going through.

The only reason we can know what someone’s going through is if they’re open and honest with us – the only way we can achieve that is through less judgment and criticism in the world so people don’t let fear keep them closed up and guarded.

We are not robots, we are alive and we have feelings. We are all divine souls deep down, sometime we unconsciously let the ego take over us and that’s ok, don’t beat yourself up, become aware of it and observe how it makes you feel. The other day I made fun of someone being different and called her weird behind her back, who am I to do that? It doesn’t make me a better person, it made me feel horrible, I don’t know what she’s going through in life, my quick judgement will only prevent me from getting to know her and she is probably a lovely person. Judgment and criticism only separates us, prevents us from bonding and sharing.

Next time you find yourself judging someone or criticising them, have a think. Become aware. Be conscious to your words and actions to yourself and others. Be open and honest and expect the same in return. Try to respond instead of react to other people’s egos.

Be the change you want to see in the world 🙂

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Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional


We can’t change some situations, but we can change the way we view them.

Then we can change the emotional reaction we get from it.

If someone causes you pain my calling you ‘ugly’ for example. That will cause you hurt and pain.

The thought that that person doesn’t like me, maybe i am ugly, what have I done wrong – It’s those type of thoughts that cause you to feel suffering. You keep one situation in mind, one that causes you pain and you re-play it.

Where as you could view it completely different and think – ‘Actually that person must be very unhappy with themselves, i wont take it personally as if I hadnt been there it would’ve been someone else being called ugly’ – showing that the person needed to realease some negativity to reflect something they where going through.

Maybe then you can begin to think ‘That person must be going through something horrible that they are finding difficult to deal with’ and then you can start to empathise for the person who called you ugly and have compassion as they must be battling with some issues themselves.

People who are at peace and happy with themselves have no need to create conflict, drama, name calling or suffering for others.

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The mind and body connection

Most of us are pretty aware that there’s a connection between our mind and bodies, our mind controls our speech, tells our limbs to move and keeps the body functioning.

However most of us don’t see how our mental health links to our physical health.

Most people who have physical pains/aches in their bodies assume its from injury or something they’ve done. The truth is it could be exactly that, or it could be a symptom of an underlying issue you have in your mind. 

Our minds are connected to our bodies, our feelings and emotions can connect with our limbs and organs. When we’re stressed it can cause constipation, when we’re excited it can cause our hearts to race etc. 

So perhaps you have back ache, chest pain or uncomfortable sensations in your feet – but you cant think of anything you’ve done to cause this (no injury,fall etc). This is for us to realise that sometimes it can be an unconscious thought,feeling or emotion that is causing tension or a blockage in our bodies which then causes aches and pains.

For example – this time last year I was told I had a severe anxiety disorder. Whenever I got stressed or worried I would have a tight heavy sensation in my chest and find it difficult to breathe, another symptom was a tight heavy pain under my left shoulder blade – it felt like there was an object there. So now I know that this pain is caused by underlying problems in my mind, worries or stresses –

Now I use this to my advantage as whenever I feel tight chested or the pain in my left shoulder (It comes back in the same spot over and over again) – It gives me the sign that I need to work on something emotionally because Im out of balance and then when I get to the root of the problem – the pain goes away. And it only comes back again when a new situation arises.

Sometimes we have to accept pain – its uncomfortable but instead of resisting it, if we allow it, accept it, feel it and question what is the deep root of the problem thats causing it – that’s when it will pass through us. 

Like I mentioned at the start, this may not be for all cases but if you find yourself in pain, aching or uncomfortable sensations; question how you’re feeling mentally. Our physical and mental health work together.

Hope this helps 🙂

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