wherethesunisalwayshining

sprinkling positivity

Schedule in some ‘Me Time’

Scheduling in some ‘Me Time’ is vital for health and wellbeing, overall happiness and joy.

We seem to have jam-packed schedules these days in our busy society. Busy people, busy minds, busy busy busy.

You might always say you’d love to do something but never have enough time. Yup, I’ve been there and still find myself sometimes coming out with those words. The truth is, we have to MAKE time.

There is enough time, we just have to understand that we are responsible for how we use it. We have to take responsibility for ourselves, our life and how we spend it.

Scheduling in some time to spend alone, with no plans, is really important. It gives you this freedom and space to just be. You can actually tune-in with yourself and wonder what you feel like. Instead of going from one plan to the other, living a life of routine, it gives you a gap to just be.

Within this gap is where creativity and imagination arises. How often can we say we have the time to day dream, draw, paint, bake or read. Whatever our hobbies are!

We spend most of our lives working and then very little time expressing our passions, how does that lead us to a fulfilling life?

So I encourage you to carry on with your routine but schedule in some time to yourself with no plans of things to do.

There is much joy felt in actually pausing with nothing to do, nowhere to go and no one to see. A slot of freedom to actually honour yourself in that moment.

Whether it’s half an hour, an evening, a day off or a weekend retreat!

Step away from the smart phones, emails, communication and distractions!

I usually try dedicating half a day or a full one depending on how I feel, to myself. To just spend time alone with no plans set in stone. It gives me a sense of freedom to explore how I feel, to really tune-in and listen to myself and see what I feel like doing. Then honouring that. Sometimes I feel like walking, exploring, some times I feel like staying in and baking! It really differs but it’s so nice to not feel like ‘Oh I really don’t feel like doing that but I have to because I planned it’.

Today I began my morning off with really simple little things that brought feelings of great joy. I got up slowly with no rush, meditated for 15 minutes or so, paused as I was grabbing for my usual breakfast of muesli and thought.. hang on, I don’t feel like that today. I have time, and I feel like being creative.. the end product was banana oat pancakes galore!

The simplicity but the beauty in pausing and creating that time and space for yourself. A gap in the busy life and daily routine.. it really is an act of love and kindness, it is a space to honour yourself in the present moment and allow creativity, spontaneity and imagination to flow through.

So if you are like me and find there isn’t enough time for the day to pamper yourself, look after your mental or physical health, nourish yourself in any way that resonates with you. Schedule it in, without feeling guilty or judgemental. It is not selfish to have time doing nothing, this is just an illusion within our society, which is why we have so many people feeling drained, exhausted and sick. In fact you will discover that once you have dedicated the time and space for yourself, you will be much happier and joyful with others.

I always find whenever I’m reaching for that extra coffee, that’s the sign of my body telling me to slow down and make some ‘me time’. Our bodies are magnificent creations that give us signs of all that we need every moment, all we have to do is listen 🙂

With love

Sian

 

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Human beings or human doings?

Dear fellow human beings..

We all recognize that we are humans.. but can we say the same for being?

I think the correct term nowadays would be that we are humans doing. We have forgotten what it is to just BE.

This may be quite confusing so I’ll back up. We have evolved into a productive society, we are highly intelligent there is no doubt about that but it seems that we have forgotten the intelligence of BEing – that is to listen to our inner selves (intuition, gut feelings etc)

Why is this? Because we are so  busy DOING.

It’s like we are on a non-stop tredmill completely unaware because we think it’s normal. We live as slaves to times, schedules, meetings, routine.

I am saying this from experience – I know that when I’m in tredmill mode and I sit down, I get really agitated and can’t relax for more than 5 minutes, I have to get up to make a tea or read a book or DO something!

Our being is our true essence. If we don’t make time to connect and listen to ourselves and be with ourselves then we are usually very unaware of how we think, feel and act towards ourselves and others. If we are not listening to our inner being, we are neglecting ourselves.

It is so important and fundamental for all aspects of health to switch off from the crazy world we live in and connect to our inner being. How else can you connect with other beings?

Next time you decide to check in on facebook to just pass time. Next time you switch on the telly just to pass time. Why not check in with being? Passing time by is wasting your life away doing pointless things. Being with yourself allows you to begin a journey to your true self, to love, light, peace and truth. It allows you to find connection with yourself, others and the world with depth and meaning.

To go beyond the surface of yourself and tap into your inner being, is to discover your infinite depth as a human being. Instead of existing in a life of constant movement and only experiencing what’s on the surface.

Make time for yourself, lie under the stars, sit with your eyes closed in the sunshine with nowhere to go and no one to see, sit and watch yourself breathe.

Balance is the key to life. Balance your time between doing and Being.. see what difference it brings to you 🙂

 

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Why we yearn for love

As a teenager i used to yearn for love..I felt if only I had a partner, then I would be complete. I would have someone to be mine. Someone to accept me as I am, and to then love me.. what an incredible feeling to just have someone to share your life with..

I know i’m not the only one who had these thoughts, dreams, illusions..

I still have those thoughts some days.. I wonder to myself, wouldnt it be nice to share my adventures and stories with someone. The truth is I am a hopeless romantic, I think perhaps I love the idea of love, more than love itself.

Now when I have those days, I realize I am exactly what I need and if I’m yearning for love then its yearning for more from myself, from within.

I dont need anyone to be mine, I have myself. I dont need to belong to anyone else, I belong to myself.

Someone told me once – We’re always longing for someone to hold our hand when we have another one right in front of us. God made us perfect, complete, whole.. he gave us two hands for us to hold our own.

When I have thoughts recurring over love and seeking it outside, I question what do I want from those thoughts.. what are they telling me that I need to give to myself.

Sometimes its a hug.. sometimes its a foot massage.. sometimes its a few compassionate kind words.

Whatever it is, that aching, that craving and wanting.. its coming from you, for you.

It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to be desired, accepted, loved.. it makes us feel valued. But what happens when that gets taken away from us.. do we suddenly become worthless?

If we value ourselves, we no longer feel the need for other to value us.

Love is a beautiful thing, to experience in all its glory and truth, we must first love ourselves.. Otherwise we simply desire to be desired. love to be valued. Love to be made to feel better about ourselves.. that’s not what love is.

Loving and valuing ourselves takes effort, patience, compassion, kindness. It takes dedication and work, it takes unveiling all the masks, undoing, getting to know whats underneath.. confronting.

People say love yourself first before you can love another. I get it. Its all beginning to make sense to me. Now I’m simply on that path to really feeling.. and yes it takes a whole lotta patience, compassion and kindness. But I feel my heart slowly cracking open, its not happening overnight but i slowly feel my walls breaking down. I know it in my mind and I am beginning to feel it in my heart but I am working on feeling it fiercly, passionately and lovingly.. like the person that I am.

I hope this post makes you think about your desires.. what you long for.. what love means to you.. what you want from others that you could give yourself?

It all starts from within.. people say that all the time. now lets all go on a journey together and explore what that means..

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Tuning in with your thoughts

Thoughts.. We have so many running in and out of our minds on auto-pilot that we aren’t even aware of most of them..

We have variations of thoughts, some pop up completely random, some we think regularly (like lists of things to do), some are memories from the past and some are illusions of the future.

Most of the time we don’t even know because we aren’t even aware of our thoughts, they’re running in and out without a pause to observe or contemplation.

With awareness and observation of your thoughts you get to know yourself better and can make significant changes to improve your life..

  • Taking notice of the voice/tone you speak to yourself in.

We all have a critique up there in the mind, bringing awareness to how we speak to ourselves can be shocking for some people. Also bringing awareness to the tone.Let’s say you’re answering a question in front of a class and getting the answer wrong, the critique within might pipe up and say ‘ well done stupid, you just made yourself look like a right idiot.’ Noticing how you speak to yourself is crucial as it can be really damaging for your self-esteem and confidence.

  • Noticing if you honour yourself and listen to yourself,

Bringing awareness to your thoughts can help you tune in and listen to yourself. Let’s say you’re really tired and run down, all you want is an early night in, then work calls and asks you to work a shift and before you even know it you’ve said yes. Inside you’re screaming no and can’t think of anything worse, but you felt compelled to say yes to please others, to make others happy even if that means you suffer. That is not giving yourself the love and care you deserve.

  • Noticing how you interact with others, are you judgemental/critical?

We all fear judgement from others, that is why we do what others expect from us. We care about what others think of us, whether they know us or not. Bring awareness to your thoughts and you will notice the judgements and labels you put on people just from their appearance or actions. You may decide you don’t like your mum’s new boyfriend because the first time you meet him he is very quiet and appears rude by not making an effort. This would be your judgement, probably without considering how he would be feeling, perhaps scared,nervous or overwhelmed. Usually through judging others we make assumptions which aren’t accurate and lose the chance of connection and new relationships.

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Freedom of thought, freedom from thought

You are not your thoughts. How many times have we heard this? But do we really understand it, most importantly do we understand the message it gives us.

That is that we have freedom from thought, if we are not our minds then we are free from it’s negative thinking.

My intention for this blog has always been to bring awareness to people, in hope that you become aware of your thoughts and how they create your reality.

We don’t choose what thoughts pop into our minds most of the time, but we do have a choice on how to perceive those thoughts. That choice only comes once you know and you are aware that you can differentiate yourself from the minds thinking.

For example –

Let’s say Lucy who struggles with self-esteem, wants to try for the dance team but doesn’t feel she can because her mind is in a negative spiral, it says things like ‘I’ll let the team-down, I’m not good enough, what if the others just laugh at me..I am a failure.’

Without awareness, Lucy accepts this as the truth. She thinks she is her mind, therefore her thoughts are facts.

If Lucy was to bring her awareness to this negative thinking by pausing the auto-pilot mode that she lives in, she would be able to challenge that thought and realize, its just a negative thought, it’s not the truth.

This is not true. We are not our thoughts, we do not choose them and they’re not the truth. Something negative happens in the past, we take it personally and hold on to that hurt instead of letting it go, then our minds remember and project it into the future and create our new thoughts based on the past experiences, creating more negativity in our lives.

Try body scanning, or a stillness meditation, observe what thoughts come up or what feelings and sensations that you experience in your body.. then recognize that you are the observer. You are not the thought, you are the one watching it.

‘What a liberation to realize that “the voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.’  – Eckhart.Tolle

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Get to know who you really are and accept all that you discover

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Our thoughts – Foreground and Background

This week I began a mindfulness training and something the teacher said really stuck with me.

My last post was about accepting ourselves on a whole, without rejecting the uncomfortable or shameful parts. Accepting ourselves for all that arises within us, that including the negative.

Resisting or fighting negativity only focuses on it and creates more – as we know what we focus on grows.

And so, my teacher said whilst we began a meditation – notice you will have background noise, but bring your attention to whatever you want to focus on, let that be in the foreground.

So for example, we had bin lorries beeping in the background of our minds but our attention was to focus on the leg (in a body scan mediation). Therefore the leg being in the foreground of the mind.

Occasionally during meditation, our attention will wonder and the main focus will drift into the background and something else will replace in the foreground (focus).. until we become aware that we have drifted and we pull it back.

This is what struck me. Isn’t it the same with everything in life? Sometimes we are focused on the positive but the negative is just in the background and sometimes negativity will arise and become the focus, yet positivty remains in the background, it’s just waiting for us to pull it back to the foreground again to be our main focus.

Also about accepting it as a whole, accepting that our mind’s do drift from thought to thought instead of being constantly focused on the meditation.. and that’s perfectly ok.

Let’s be kind to ourselves and smile whenever the background shifts to the foreground or we lose focus. Let’s smile and accept that it happens. Lets remind ourselves, We are human and doing our best 🙂

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Finding Balance in your life

Finding balance can be difficult, especially as we have so many different areas of our lives to balance.

Creating this equal balance in our lives takes time and effort to tune in with ourselves, to listen to gut feeling and intuition, to know if we are doing too much or could push ourselves to do more.

Its about experimenting and learning about yourself. Learning to trust your body, it takes great care of you and will always let you know if something is wrong and therefore out of balance. This is why it’s so important to be present and take time daily to tune-in with yourself.

People often run around all day, busy or stressed, rushing from one place to another. They probably get symptoms of illness way before they stop and realize, by this time the body is screaming. Where as if you take time daily to listen you will notice even minor symptoms and therefore be able to prevent it getting worse.

If you find yourself constantly tired or ill with lethargic symptoms, cold, flu’s, sickness bugs or digestive problems.. consider why that is.

A few years ago I had a cold every other week. I kept complaining but once i’d get better I went back to normal and the next week I’d be sick again. I never thought about getting to the root of the problem and trying to prevent illness. It turned out I was supressing emotions, living with a unhealthy diet, not enough sleep or too much, drinking a lot of alcohol and spending no time alone. I had completely lost balance of many areas in life, this resulted in feeling lost and constantly run down and lethargic.

Balance is they key to a healthy life. Make time for yourself, only you can figure out a balance for your mind, body and soul. You have to truly listen to you as all our bodies are unique to us

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Take a little time out for yourself daily

I have been practising self-observation, personal growth and development over 6 months now and so I have come to recognize when I am out of touch with myself. Disconnected.

The funny thing is, I am beginning to observe these times also, proving very interesting.

The past two weeks I was in a new environment, attempting to settle in and get used to my surroundings and keeping busy, dismissing my usual personal practises.

The interesting thing was, the less I practised yoga, reading and writing to myself in notes or my journal – the more I was seeking outside, through facebook, looking up pointless things on the internet to pass time.

I actually had a very odd feeling within myself, like a gap. A feeling of disconnected, I wasnt giving the mind and body the time and attention it needed to observe and sort out my thoughts and feelings.

Essentially neglecting myself, seeking fulfillment from outside, procrastinating on facebook and not achieving anything with my time. It’s funny how easily we can fall into a habit of doing so and without even the awareness.

I feel a much happier, less anxious person when I am being productive with my time, making time for myself and limiting my use of internet, social media and phone contact. It takes effort, motivation, self-discipline and awareness to cut out the latter or limit technology usage, set aside time for ourselves, to be on our own and listen to ourselves.

Listening to ourselves is an act of kindness and love, please don’t neglect yourself. Dedicate time out of your day to look after your mental and physical wellbeing. As you would for exercise, take time out to observe how you feel, take five minutes to do a breathing exercise, write down your thoughts.

Re-connect with yourself. You will find yourself feeling happier and connecting with all aspects of life in a positive way.

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A daily Affirmation on being confident with who you are

I have confidence to fully express myself, whatever I am feeling I honour it and flow with it. I am acting only in confidence because I truly believe in myself and know that I am a beautiful person. I know others can see the beauty within me as I see the beauty within them – that divinity comes from the same place. Being confident means knowing who I am and who I want to be – having no shame, embarrassment or resistance as I transcend into acceptance, embracing all that I am and being sure that I love who i am because essentially I am whoever I choose to be, I have that power within myself.

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