wherethesunisalwayshining

sprinkling positivity

Schedule in some ‘Me Time’

Scheduling in some ‘Me Time’ is vital for health and wellbeing, overall happiness and joy.

We seem to have jam-packed schedules these days in our busy society. Busy people, busy minds, busy busy busy.

You might always say you’d love to do something but never have enough time. Yup, I’ve been there and still find myself sometimes coming out with those words. The truth is, we have to MAKE time.

There is enough time, we just have to understand that we are responsible for how we use it. We have to take responsibility for ourselves, our life and how we spend it.

Scheduling in some time to spend alone, with no plans, is really important. It gives you this freedom and space to just be. You can actually tune-in with yourself and wonder what you feel like. Instead of going from one plan to the other, living a life of routine, it gives you a gap to just be.

Within this gap is where creativity and imagination arises. How often can we say we have the time to day dream, draw, paint, bake or read. Whatever our hobbies are!

We spend most of our lives working and then very little time expressing our passions, how does that lead us to a fulfilling life?

So I encourage you to carry on with your routine but schedule in some time to yourself with no plans of things to do.

There is much joy felt in actually pausing with nothing to do, nowhere to go and no one to see. A slot of freedom to actually honour yourself in that moment.

Whether it’s half an hour, an evening, a day off or a weekend retreat!

Step away from the smart phones, emails, communication and distractions!

I usually try dedicating half a day or a full one depending on how I feel, to myself. To just spend time alone with no plans set in stone. It gives me a sense of freedom to explore how I feel, to really tune-in and listen to myself and see what I feel like doing. Then honouring that. Sometimes I feel like walking, exploring, some times I feel like staying in and baking! It really differs but it’s so nice to not feel like ‘Oh I really don’t feel like doing that but I have to because I planned it’.

Today I began my morning off with really simple little things that brought feelings of great joy. I got up slowly with no rush, meditated for 15 minutes or so, paused as I was grabbing for my usual breakfast of muesli and thought.. hang on, I don’t feel like that today. I have time, and I feel like being creative.. the end product was banana oat pancakes galore!

The simplicity but the beauty in pausing and creating that time and space for yourself. A gap in the busy life and daily routine.. it really is an act of love and kindness, it is a space to honour yourself in the present moment and allow creativity, spontaneity and imagination to flow through.

So if you are like me and find there isn’t enough time for the day to pamper yourself, look after your mental or physical health, nourish yourself in any way that resonates with you. Schedule it in, without feeling guilty or judgemental. It is not selfish to have time doing nothing, this is just an illusion within our society, which is why we have so many people feeling drained, exhausted and sick. In fact you will discover that once you have dedicated the time and space for yourself, you will be much happier and joyful with others.

I always find whenever I’m reaching for that extra coffee, that’s the sign of my body telling me to slow down and make some ‘me time’. Our bodies are magnificent creations that give us signs of all that we need every moment, all we have to do is listen 🙂

With love

Sian

 

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What are you Doing?

What are you Doing?

This is one question that triggers a whirlwind of thoughts, feelings and emotions for me.

For years I have been growing up with people taking general interest in my life and asking the innocent question – ‘So, What are you doing next?’, ‘What are you doing at the moment?’, ‘What are you doing next week?’

I have heard these four words far more than I’d like to.

The truth is the question creates bouts of anxiety within me. People ask out of interest, good nature, general polite chit chat. Not quite realizing perhaps what they’re asking.

When I hear these 4 words I hear expectation and pressure.. and what I feel when I hear these words are anxiety, guilt, uncertainty and failure. Because the answers usually is I don’t know.

I guess my perception has become warped with my own insecurities on the matter but I am sure that I am not alone as many of us are in the same boat.

When someone asks ‘What are you doing’ – I feel they expect me to know, and I don’t know so there’s uncertainty and I feel like a failure for not knowing. I also feel pressure that I should have a plan, and then I feel guilty again for not having one.

The thing is I don’t have a plan. I have learnt through life experience and travelling that plans don’t always go to plan. Life does it’s thing and we can choose to accept where we are or suffer with non-acceptance and wishing to be somewhere else.

I actually find this topic quite hard even to write about, it creates tension within me. When I was travelling I was able to answer this question much more freely and laid-back, because everyone seems to be on the same wavelength, not knowing where we’re going but trusting it’s ok and allowing things to unfold exactly as and when they’re meant to.

The thing is there’s a lot of freedom in ‘I don’t know’.

I say this from experience – I left my uni course to a year of ‘What are you doing; I don’t know’ scenarios and decided enough was enough and went travelling and working abroad – something I’d never done if I’d stuck to my safe certain uni degree that didn’t make me happy.

Possibilities arise if we are open to them. Changing perspective is fundamental, it’s the only thing we have control over, we have a choice.

Will your ‘I don’t know’ be one of despair, stress and anxiety – (which doesn’t make you know any more 😉

Or can you allow it to be exactly what it is.. at this very moment in time you don’t know. Which gives you the opportunity to explore, discover new things, places. Volunteer, try something different.

There is nothing wrong with not knowing where your life is heading.. in fact nobody knows. There is no certainty for how life will unfold. Isn’t that the magic of it all?

Not knowing what magic is around the corner, what opportunity can arise if you open yourself to the infinite possibilities that the world has to offer?

Go volunteer in Africa, Go raise money for charity, Go explore a new way of living. If you don’t have a next step plan in life – Take it as a sign from the Universe that you’re meant to explore now. You are free.

I know the next time someone asks me ‘What are you doing’ I am hoping I will of changed my perception a little and have the courage to answer from my heart..

‘I don’t know but I know it’s on the way, I am just going with the flow of life and letting it unfold as it is, when I’m supposed to know then I will know. For now exploring, discovering and learning is what I’m doing and I know every piece of the puzzle will finally fit together when the time’s right.’

Trust in yourself. Trust in Life. Recognize your freedom in unlimited possibilities, they are waiting out there for you.

 

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Human beings or human doings?

Dear fellow human beings..

We all recognize that we are humans.. but can we say the same for being?

I think the correct term nowadays would be that we are humans doing. We have forgotten what it is to just BE.

This may be quite confusing so I’ll back up. We have evolved into a productive society, we are highly intelligent there is no doubt about that but it seems that we have forgotten the intelligence of BEing – that is to listen to our inner selves (intuition, gut feelings etc)

Why is this? Because we are so  busy DOING.

It’s like we are on a non-stop tredmill completely unaware because we think it’s normal. We live as slaves to times, schedules, meetings, routine.

I am saying this from experience – I know that when I’m in tredmill mode and I sit down, I get really agitated and can’t relax for more than 5 minutes, I have to get up to make a tea or read a book or DO something!

Our being is our true essence. If we don’t make time to connect and listen to ourselves and be with ourselves then we are usually very unaware of how we think, feel and act towards ourselves and others. If we are not listening to our inner being, we are neglecting ourselves.

It is so important and fundamental for all aspects of health to switch off from the crazy world we live in and connect to our inner being. How else can you connect with other beings?

Next time you decide to check in on facebook to just pass time. Next time you switch on the telly just to pass time. Why not check in with being? Passing time by is wasting your life away doing pointless things. Being with yourself allows you to begin a journey to your true self, to love, light, peace and truth. It allows you to find connection with yourself, others and the world with depth and meaning.

To go beyond the surface of yourself and tap into your inner being, is to discover your infinite depth as a human being. Instead of existing in a life of constant movement and only experiencing what’s on the surface.

Make time for yourself, lie under the stars, sit with your eyes closed in the sunshine with nowhere to go and no one to see, sit and watch yourself breathe.

Balance is the key to life. Balance your time between doing and Being.. see what difference it brings to you 🙂

 

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The ripple effect, how our actions affect other people.

We are all the same, underneath the outer layers we all have feelings, emotions. The things that block us from viewing it is that were driven by fear.

People who judge and criticise behave unconsciously, they’re unaware of the damage. This is why becoming conscious and aware of our thoughts, words and actions is so important. Everything we do has a ripple affect on other people.

Have you ever said something horrible to someone? I’m guessing so. Did you ever notice how it made you feel? I’m guessing not good. When we say something horrible to someone it’s not us, it’s our ego taking over and usually coming from a place of fear, anger or sadness.

For example in high school I remember a girl who loved drama, confrontation and starting arguements. She enjoyed picking on me and I never understood why. One day I was so fed up and in the end I called her fat. She didn’t actually respond to me and so I felt like I’d won. My ego felt superior, I’d had the last word. Yet inside I knew that’s not how I wanted to behave, I didn’t enjoy calling people names – nobody does. That name calling came from a place of anger. Yet I will never know how it affected that person, I will never know wether that name calling still rings in her memory. The same as she will never know how I remember her shouting and name calling rings in my mind. We both let our egos take over and rip chunks into each other with name calling and arguing.

This is all too common. If I would’ve listened to my soul, and been mindful I would have dealt with the situation very differently. I would see that the girl had much pain, something troubling her in life that she seemed drama and attention. She obviously felt she needed reaction, good or bad. If I would’ve seen this at the time I would have responded differently instead of reacting.

Hence why we build up guards around ourselves, become closed off to other humans, afraid to show who we truly are.

If we are open, we are vulnerable and risk being hurt by others who are unconscious. Yet if we are aware that their hurtful words or actions are exactly that – unconscious. Then we have a chance of putting a stop to reaction and ego taking over.

Hurtful actions and comments stay in our memories for years, hence why it’s imperative that we bring awareness to ourselves. Everything we do and say to people has an effect on them, we never know to some extent. We must stop acting unconsciously towards others, causing harm because of we let our ego take over just in a fleeting moment you can’t undo those horrible words or horrible actions. We can only apologise.

The other side to being aware and conscious of your thoughts and actions is that when you are personally attacked by someone – you can choose to diminish their comment or action. You can become aware that they are suffering and that is the only reason why they’re behaving this way toward you. No happy person who is conscious goes around verbally abusing people.

We are all divine souls, only our ego separates us.

For example a woman once had a go at me, I was in the wrong slightly but she made it a big drama and was so angry, the tone of voice etc was not very nice. I used my awareness and could see she was troubled with something so I didn’t react or argue back. I apologised and instead talked with her as a friend would.

In a different situation someone would feel personally attacked and get angry, the ego doesn’t like to be blamed and so you would react and shout back. This would only lead to hurtful comments and cause harm to each other.. No resolving.

Then hurtful comments stay with people and they carry them for the rest of their lives.

Next time think when you’re going to criticise someone, comment on their looks or the way they are. It’s all too easy to judge and criticise when we don’t know what someone’s going through.

The only reason we can know what someone’s going through is if they’re open and honest with us – the only way we can achieve that is through less judgment and criticism in the world so people don’t let fear keep them closed up and guarded.

We are not robots, we are alive and we have feelings. We are all divine souls deep down, sometime we unconsciously let the ego take over us and that’s ok, don’t beat yourself up, become aware of it and observe how it makes you feel. The other day I made fun of someone being different and called her weird behind her back, who am I to do that? It doesn’t make me a better person, it made me feel horrible, I don’t know what she’s going through in life, my quick judgement will only prevent me from getting to know her and she is probably a lovely person. Judgment and criticism only separates us, prevents us from bonding and sharing.

Next time you find yourself judging someone or criticising them, have a think. Become aware. Be conscious to your words and actions to yourself and others. Be open and honest and expect the same in return. Try to respond instead of react to other people’s egos.

Be the change you want to see in the world 🙂

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Where the Ego is concerned, we’re all actors playing different Roles in life.

Have you ever witnessed somebody your close to, meet new people and they act completely different? That’s not them, that’s their ego.

Have you ever been asked by a shop assistant how are you and replied im fine thanks, even though you’re feeling sad. That’s not you, that’s your ego.

When you go to the hair dresser do you feel the need to make conversation, even though you’d prefer to be sitting in silence? That again is your ego.

Our ego like to play different roles with different people. When we’re buying something for example, we play the role of a customer – making general chit chat because that’s what customers do. We’re acting like a customer.

When we meet different people we don’t act ourselves, the ego kicks in. For example you would act a different role if you were to meet the queen, yet how would you act if you were to meet her cleaners?

We would probably feel inferior looking up to the queen, acting like we’re from the same class, trying to be someone we’re not.

With the cleaners we would perhaps talk down to them and feel superior, that we are better, again being someone we’re not.

When we are in a situation when we feel superior or inferior, that’s when we can become aware that’s not our true self – its our ego. When we’re playing roles of the ego, that’s when we are not being real, we don’t connect as humans and realise that we are all the same.

So much of the time we let what we do for work take over who we are. We let our ego take over and believe that what we do for work, what we look like on the outside, what we own, what social class we are in – that’s who we are. But its not, that’s not what defines us. We are so much more than everything thats outside of us.

For example if you become a parent, yes it takes over your life but you are still you, a person, a human being with a life. If you are sick, you are not that sickness you are simply dealing with a sickness. If you are a content living in a council estate, it doesn’t make you any less successful as somebody with a mansion that may be deeply unhappy.

We play the different roles to act to peoples different expectations. We act differently with our friends to when we’re with our parents, why is that? Are we afraid our parents wont accept us as we truly are, or are we putting on a role of behaviour when we’re with our friends that our parents wouldn’t recognize?

Perhaps think about how you act differently with different people. Observe how you are, are you the same person with your family, friends, co-workers, public? If not, question why? Why are you afraid to be who you truly are.

I felt sad on public transport a while back and although I wanted to cry and could feel the emotion building up, i didn’t let it out because I was worried what other people would think of me. I was worried they’d stare at the girl crying. I observed that experience and now I question why, it was obviously my ego. You’re not meant to show your emotion unless you’re happy, that’s what my belief was and that’s for many others too. That’s why so many people plaster a smile on their face and say ‘im fine’, yet they question the meaning of their life and cry at home most nights.

Why are we all lying to each other? Why can’t we be open and honest when things are bothering us? Because our ego’s get in the way. Our ego’s dont want us to be vulnerable, if we’re open then we may easily get rejected therefore its easier to stay guarder and cold, sticking to the smiley yes im fine. This is why we’re not connecting with each other as beings and instead using assumptions and judgments to rule our life – letting the ego live our lives.

I hope this post helps people identify when the ego starts to kick in. Don’t be ashamed or beat yourself up about it, it’s perfectly natural. The ego is very strong, only when you become aware of it and its actions, thats when it becomes weaker.

Challenge it and see for yourselves 🙂

Remember, the sun is always shining 🙂

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